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Arsene Wenger: My Life in Red and White - The Lost Stories


By Shane
October 24 2020

The great thing about Arsene Wenger's new book is its not all about Hollywood Football, its not all Henry's and Ozils, we also learn about the water carriers and grafters. Shane read Arsene's book so you dont have to, and reviews some of the now forgotten moments not dealt with on the Graham Norton show, but I will leave it to Shane on Wenger's transfer dealings .....

I phoned downstairs to ask how the medical was going and Dick, our transfer fixer, said: "You won't believe this Arsene....but he's like Superman." And we needed him to be. This was midway through the 2013-14 season and Arsenal were a little bit jaded in our morale. "This is great, Dick," I said. "In what way is he like Superman? Is he immortal? Is he faster than a bullet? Is he exceptionally strong?" Dick took a few moments. "Maybe you should come down and see for yourself, Arsene."

 When I got down to the clinic, I saw the player on the floor, beside a running treadmill, writhing around and sobbing with every tiny movement. "How's the medical going?" I asked the doctor. He nodded toward a black and white x-ray photo, with something contorted in the shape of an S on it. I have always been a big believer in signs. Now I knew what Dick was talking about - the S stood for Superman. "No," said the doctor. "What you're looking at is Kim's back - that's his spine. The spine is one-fifth of a way to spelling itself and the surrounding nerve endings are tangled like Christmas tree lights."

I must say, I was furious, especially with Dick. I took him out into the corridor of the Wilshere wing. "This is not Superman," I tell him. Me and Dick often operated a little bit on a different wavelength. I ask him to sign a Croatian player from Middlesbrough many years ago and he came back with Boro Primorac. I could see this being another mix-up. "This player is not Superman, not physically extraordinary in any way," I reiterated. "It was the doctor, Arsene...." he explained. "He said this would be like signing Christopher Reeve after his accident."

I was even more furious. "You should not have described him as Superman," I tell him. "This is not a man of steel." Dick pauses. "He will be when we get the rods and screws and metal plates into him to keep his spine linear," he said. Dick had a point. Dick always had a point. If you ask me now if he was qualified to fix transfers for Arsenal, I tell you honestly, no, but he always had a good idea. I now felt optimistic that if we sign Kim, he would be available for Swansea at home on Wednesday. We go back into the clinic at London Colney and Kim is tugging at the doctor's trouser leg and demanding to be shot. In this moment he remind me of Benny the horse from my childhood in Strasbourg. My father Alphonse shot Benny with his Thompson machine gun from the war. I felt it was excessive.

In this moment I vow that no matter how useless something is, no matter how finished it is, no matter how pointless it is, I will give it a chance. An hour later we sign Kim to an £85,000-a-week deal over six months. I must say, Dick played a little bit of a blinder here by including a number of incentive-related bonuses. Every time Kim stood up straight, he got an additional £10,000.

Kim Kallstrom kneels dejected after West Ham United score their first goal of the game

And the rest, as you say in England, is history. We won our first trophy in nine years after signing Kim - the FA Cup, which was my fifth - and his seven minutes in extra time against Wigan was a little bit massive for us. He also got a pre-pre-pre assist in our 2-1 defeat by Swansea at home.

After the FA Cup final, Prince William congratulated me on my achievement and asked how Kim was. He had missed the game due to an unforeseen back injury. "Well, he'll come back stronger," said William. "Not all super heroes wear capes." I said "William, you don't know the half."

 

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Arsene Wenger: My Life in Red and White - The Lost Stories
Discussion started by Arsenal Times , 24/10/2020 18:46
Arsenal Times
24/10/2020 18:46
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2020:10:30:16:02:49 by Padre Pio.

Padre Pio
24/10/2020 19:23
Indeed the above story demonstrates the sheer genius of Arsene Wenger. This signing changed Arsenal's future and inspired Kim who has fond memories of his time at Arsenal.

Quote "Introduced as an extra-time substitute, he scored Arsenal's second spot kick in their 4–2 penalty shoot-out win which saw them advance to the final. Källström has gone on to describe this moment as "the greatest 15 minutes of my life." Three days later, he made his first start for Arsenal in a 3–1 victory against West Ham United.Arsenal went on to win the FA Cup; Kallstrom was not in the match day squad for the final. After making four appearance in all competitions, it was announced that Källström would not return to Arsenal once his loan spell with them expired at the end of the season. Despite only making four appearances, Källström said he enjoyed his time at Arsenal."

"When we had to suffer the team is a lion because they suffer together." 4 July 2020 at Wolverhampton Wanderers
Arteta on his team's first away victory at a club above them in the Premiership since September 2015 at Leicester.

plonky
24/10/2020 20:57
A decent piece of writing Shane. You should take it up professionally.

No seriously I had tears of laughter running down my face by the end of the first para. Right cheered me up. Thanks.

Shane
25/10/2020 00:29
Thank you Plonky. I haven't actually read the book Padre but there's probably about 200 stories that should be there that aren't and I thought it'd be funny if this is one of them.

Padre Pio
25/10/2020 07:48
Quote:
Shane
Thank you Plonky. I haven't actually read the book Padre but there's probably about 200 stories that should be there that aren't and I thought it'd be funny if this is one of them.
Bit of Editor's licence there Shane. Yes I think we can count on it that Kim's story isnt there - but he is probably no where near being our worst signing

"When we had to suffer the team is a lion because they suffer together." 4 July 2020 at Wolverhampton Wanderers
Arteta on his team's first away victory at a club above them in the Premiership since September 2015 at Leicester.

younghansolo
29/10/2020 13:17
I enjoyed this immensely Shane.

Incidentally I'm about 2/3rds through the book and it's pretty bland. Not too many stories of interest and very little depth to most of the stories. It spends more time talking about Alsace than anything.

Shane
29/10/2020 17:20
Thanks mate. I haven't got past the first chapter myself. I'll read them all individually at some stage.

Padre Pio
29/10/2020 19:06
Might be some more chapters you can review/invent cough

"When we had to suffer the team is a lion because they suffer together." 4 July 2020 at Wolverhampton Wanderers
Arteta on his team's first away victory at a club above them in the Premiership since September 2015 at Leicester.

younghansolo
30/10/2020 09:21
I just finished the book. I thought I was about 2/3rds through but actually I was at the end. That's because there's about 70 pages of stats at the end. Interesting but something I can get on wikipedia if I wanted it, and not pay £15 for the privilege.

This means that 20 odd years of managing Arsenal (and the 40 years before that) has been condensed into 300 pages of text. That probably tells you all you need to know about the depth of this book.

My advice don't buy it. The interviews he's given subsequently are probably more interesting.
I'm actually pretty annoyed to be honest. Hardly worth waiting for.

Boston Gooner
30/10/2020 10:06
Wenger's done you all again lol

“ 𝓥𝓲𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝓖𝓻𝓸𝔀𝓼 𝓣𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓶𝓸𝓷𝔂 ”

younghansolo
30/10/2020 12:27
Quote:
Boston Gooner
Wenger's done you all again lol

He really has.

Is it arrogant to think if I wrote an autobiography about myself (which I'm sure nobody would read) I'd hope to have at least 600 pages of good stuff to talk about. I'd have thought someone like Arsene Wenger would have 5000 pages. 300 pages is a @#$%&-take tbh.

I'm not an autobiography guy generally but if anyone is and like Wrestling from the 80-90's era then Pure Dynamite by the Dynamite Kid Tom Billington (who was from Lancashire and ended up in a wheelchair and subsequently dying young) is a must. Brilliant insight into a very interesting and alien world.

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