Squeakyarchie sees red

By Boris Mellor
January 30 2011

You may be too young to remember the episode of the Likely Lads, the one where they set the VCR to record an important match, and then try to go all day without hearing the score. Of course they nearly make it, until some big mouth lets slip in the pub five minutes before they return home.

Thanks to the ridiculous scheduling of matches at 12 noon on a Sunday I found myself on an engagement I couldn’t get out off. The timing took me completely by surprise, and is the first game at home I have missed this season (well if you don’t count the fizzy cup).

I carefully texted everyone who might possibly text me during the match, and all faithfully promised not to. The fact my assignment was in Tottenham also helped, with them playing Fulham away it was unlikely I would meet Spud or Gooner, and all went to plan until I left the area at about 3pm.

On the Northern line, as late as 4pm, a few Gunners got into my carriage, they didn’t look ecstatic, but they didn’t look gutted. Perhaps it was a draw, but I fled to far end of car before I could hear anything they said. At last I was home and put on the DVD player with the enthusiasm of a Lion just having made a kill.  I would be watching the game virtually live, so to speak.

The match kicked off and there were quite a few stiffs in the line up, players looking for confidence, surely they would find it against a team two divisions below them?

Well chances were made and missed, but on 22 mins Bendtner shot wide, but P. Clarke kindly turned the ball in, 1 nil to the Arsenal, and that’s how we like it around here. It was either the Escalope Milanese, or the Coconut ice cream in half a coconut, or possibly how boring the match had become that I nodded off, but alert Lion that I am, shortly before half time, I suddenly snapped to. I smelt danger, yes Squeakyarchie was being savaged by the ref. Unfortunately, he was guilty of the crime and sent off.

Likely Lad messes up

So now it was ten men Arsenal, the team held out comfortably to the half time whistle. To save time and avoid hearing drivel I decided to fast forward to the start of the second half, what happened next would never have happened to the Likely Lads, old VCRs could not skip but only slowly fast forward. The problem is that DvRs do skip, and skip it did, there was Nik displaying his pectorals giving Fabregas the Man of Match award. Beneath them even bolder than Nik’s pecs was a banner with the final score.

Damn I knew the result, we had won 2-1 all my good work undone, and it had removed all the suspense. I comforted myself that I still didn’t know how the score came about, but that’s not the point is it? All the tension of a real game had gone.

In the second half the team looked decidedly average, true there was only ten of them, but the inability to score in open play began to grate. Also the defence and midfield came under more and more pressure and sure enough Huddersfield scored on 66 minutes. Could Almunia have stopped it? Not sure but my feeling is that Sczcesny might have, but Manuel had made a great save earlier on.

Average players

No fault of his, but Nasri the only competent midfielder was off; meanwhile Denilson sat down at every opportunity in sympathy with the Egyptian revolution. Arshavin tried but nothing worked, Nik’s touch failed him again and again. Diaby – I am not sure what he did, it seemed ok, but never threatened goal, leastways not whilst I was awake. Gibbs gave far too much room to their attackers.

Cometh the hour cometh the man

It increasingly seemed that Arsenal were heading for a very unwanted replay, but on the hour, well 69 minutes to be precise, Wenger took off Diaby and replaced him with Fabregas. What a difference an above average player makes on these occasions. His cunning pass to Bendtner saw the Terriers snap at the Great Dane’s legs. Penalty!!! Fab was Barking mad, why no red for McCombe? Nonetheless, Fab stepped up on 86 minutes and coolly scored. If Denilson was paying attention he might have seen what leadership is really about, but he was probably sitting down somewhere.

Now answer this

Fabregas was on for only 20 minutes and was given the man of the match award, where does that leave his team mates, those who played 69 or even 90 minutes without making any real impact.  Does it make them average?

Magic of the cup

Anyhow it’s a knock out competition in the long run nobody will care about this game, although credit to Huddersfield for playing so well, what we care about is it’s away at the O’s next. We can also laugh at Spurs, losing 4-0 to Fulham, now that is the magic of the cup.