Bring on the Clowns

By Celine Dion
September 18 2009

I was going to write about the past weighing like a nightmare on the mind of the living. I had a dream that we lost to Wigan just before the Liege game. I don't believe that dreams fortell the future, but it certainly summed up the last few games. Fortunately I read the Arsenal Times Forum before inflicting my dreary thoughts upon you.

  So instead I have reproduced Celine Dions post below. Celine's right - this is how you approach a football match - if you don't I suggest chess might be your game.
Boris Mellor

Editor Arsenal Times

 

Celine Dion writes:

Right chaps I'm feeling positive this evening perhaps it's the Stella Artois but never mind that, and before anyone thinks I might be writing from a brain injury unit, no I don't think we're going to win the league with an unbeaten run stretching from here to next May, and for those of you that do, well, you had better get yourselves off to a brain injury unit quick. Or just watch a rerun of our last two games that should be enough...

But hey! Let's just concentrate on one aspect of Wenger's latest crazy plan, the much debated 4-3-3 formation, although when you actually look at it closely, sometimes its' quite clearly been a 4-4-2, other times a 4-5-1, and sometimes a fruity and nonchalant 2-3-5 (with Clichy and Sagna casting aside their defensive worries and launching themselves with carefree abandon towards the corner flags).

One undoubted by-product of our illustrious leaders new ‘devil may care' approach to the world of top level football is a much ignored commodity in modern sport, that's right, ENTERTAINMENT. I think it was one of those miserable old Liverpool ‘greats' who growled ‘If you want entertainment go and watch CLOWNS' and guess what, we've certainly got some CLOWNS (Diaby, Eboue, Silvestre, and even Senderos lurking capably in the wings).

 Arsenals certainly a CIRCUS nowadays, and if you forget the tiresome lack of actual points on the board, we're all being ENTERTAINED. If it wasn't for the miserly and boring 2-1 reverse at Old Trafford and the tediously professional 2-0 win at Park head then we would be averaging about 17 goals a game at the moment, and that's forgetting that Portsmouth cut through our back 4 almost at will, but because it was a hot sunny day, we'd knocked a few goals in beforehand, and everyone I know was a bit p*ssed that day.  NOBODY CARED ANYWAY.

 One of our number, who writes on this board, came back from Man City last week having clearly had a CRACKING day, and that's despite our shipping about three hundred goals in the second half. Heavens, so much happened in that match, people are still talking about it from here to Timbuktu.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it. I don't think you have to have a great big shiny trophy at the end of the season to have had a good time (and for those of you that DO think that, I've got some bad news...). Football's what you make of it.

Young players coming through like Wilshire and Mr Sanchez Watt. Banter with the other fans, if that's what you enjoy. Jumping up and down shouting like a nutter and climbing up the nearest fence when someone scores a goal.

And GOALS, let's face it, are the reason we all get up in the morning and actually watch football. We've got plenty of those... At BOTH ends. Hey! I don't even know whose going to be our top scorer this season, how many teams can say that. I certainly don't think it's going to be Robin van Ballet Turn. Nor Niklas ‘row Z' Bendtner. Eduardo might get a few if he actually PLAYS a few games. My money, and I suspect Wenger's as well, is on Vermaelen or Gallas. Well, that makes things a lot more fun, doesn't it! Who knows what's going to happen.

And for those of you that are stuck in Henry/Pires years, well, they've GONE. If you think that's what the Arsenal is all about nowadays, take your Rose Tinted's off. We can all still be friends, can't we? And in the modern era, where clearly the teams that win things are the ones that borrow/steal the most money, what does any of it actually matter?

If some bloke picks you out of the phone book and decides that's where he wants to launder his Russian oil money for the next few years, and you think that makes you have a great big p*nis, and you want to wave photocopied bank notes in people's faces, good luck to you. We'll see you on the way down. And quit all the anger towards Man City, will you. Just because of last Saturday.

 Those fans have had nothing but COMICAL MISERY for the last thirty years, and if they get their silly day in the sunshine due to an absurdly rich Arab Sheik playing real life football manager with them, well GOOD LUCK to them as far as I am concerned. They've been turning up 15,000 strong to holes like Preston North End for YEARS in the shade of turmoil and relegation while their near neighbours waved the European cup in their face, and if they don't deserve a great big ironic party then who does?

I'm off to the game tomorrow; I've got a 32 quid seat so I can't even moan about prices this time. I seriously haven't got a clue what's going to happen, and that's rather refreshing if you ask me. I'm not going to spend all afternoon glued to my mobile trying to find out how Chelsea are doing, because it DOESN'T MATTER. I'm going to cheer on the boys no matter what shower of cr*p our manager puts out on the pitch and have a good chat/laugh/cry about it afterwards, and I would advise the rest of you to do the same.

When I was in that football shop in Carnaby Street about three years ago, pre-season, when everybody was expecting us to nosedive, some cheeky shop assistant said to me ‘Arsenal, they're the new Spurs'. I was OUTRAGED at the time. He was wrong, we're the new WEST HAM, the 1980s academy of football, playing with youthful abandon, getting worldwide recognition for their entertaining and cavalier ways, and very likely not winning a f*c*ing thing. Enjoy yourselves, you're a long time dead...

 

Celine Dion is off to the game and feeling positive

Discussion started by Arsenal Times , 18/09/2009 20:27

Arsenal Times
18/09/2009 20:27

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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2009:09:20:12:18:22 by Padre Pio.

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Bergmars
18/09/2009 20:42

OK CD im with you,I want to enjoy so ferk it IM going to

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Gunners R Us
18/09/2009 20:50

im going as well

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Zainy
18/09/2009 23:18

Posted by: Tom14 (IP Logged)
Date: 18 September, 2009 20:01

No mention fo Denilson?

I condemn this post to hell




[www.last.fm]

=====================================

Re: Celine Dions CHEERY and POSITIVE match preview...
Posted by: Zainy (IP Logged)
Date: 18 September, 2009 20:19

Thats the spirit. Yes we are not seeing the latest encarnation of bergkamp, henry, pires etc. But whats the point of being miserable about it. Come on you Gunners!!!!

============================

Posted by: Marsberg (IP Logged)
Date: 18 September, 2009 20:26

Celine youve deserted us Victor Meldrews,Im aghast.


Always Arsenal, Arsene,and Arshavin

===================================


Posted by: celine dion (IP Logged)
Date: 18 September, 2009 20:36

Quote:
Marsberg
Celine youve deserted us Victor Meldrews,Im aghast.


Au contraire, Marsberg. I make it quite clear I still think we are a bag of sh*te, but whats the point of worrying about it. I hope Aaron Ramsey, Rosicky and, oh, I dont know, Wilshere, score a goal tomorrow and run over to the fans and give them a great big HUG. Thats what its all about. Not Cashley Cole and that other moron comparing bank balances.

==============================



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 2009:09:19:00:25:14 by Padre Pio.

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Merlion96
19/09/2009 07:52

Calm downa dn enjoy yoruself.

Easy 7-0 vicotry as WIgan does not have a defence.

Edaurdo and Bentner had start scoring and will conintue their scoring streak.

With Rosicky prompting 'em, time for Fabregas to score as well.

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Merlion96
19/09/2009 08:14

We are a pale shadow of Ron Greenwood's West Ham of the 60s.

We lack:
1 - a leader in Bobby Moore
2 - a deadly predator like Geoff Hurst
3 - a "ghost" like Martin Peters

And throughout the time, Arsene Wenger's lack flair players like Trevor Brooking, Alan Devonshire.....with Jack Wilshere as potentially better than those 2....

And Arsene Wenger Academy has yet to produce palyers like:
1 - Rio
2 - Joe Cole
3 - Defoe
4 - Lampard
5 - Carrick
6 - Glenn Johnson

All current ENgland internationals.

GOalie?
Has Arsene Wenger Academy produces the like fo Melvin Day yet?

Perhaps, the day Arsenal produces a 'Bobby Moore", "Geoff Hurst" and "Martin Peters" for ENgland is the day that England wins the WOrld CUp 2018.

WHich yougnsters wil most likely be ENgland Internationals in WOrld CUp 2014 & 2018?
1 - WIlshere?
2 - Murphy? Freeman? Afobe? Deacons?
3 - Bartley? Ayling? Boateng?
4 - Aneke?

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PKGooner
20/09/2009 12:14

How many did Wigan bring, about 300?!

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Padre Pio
20/09/2009 12:19

That would be top limit

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celine dion
20/09/2009 12:20

Thats probably being a bit generous.

They bought a little firm of six or seven school kids though.

At one stage they waded across the empty seats giving it the 'lets have it' to about 5,000 Arsenal fans. Classic entertainment.

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Padre Pio
20/09/2009 12:30

Yeah. but the stewards told them to sit down and they meekly returned

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