Manchester United to win their own Waterloo

By European Football
February 8 2005

My, my, at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender Oh yeah, and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way The history book on the shelf Is always repeating itself Ah those immortal words of those world class historians that are abba, those crazy Swedish kids and their pop music and pantaloons. Now not a lot of people know this but the battle of Waterloo was actually a response to an illegal approach by Napoleon, and Manchester United today stand accused of exactly the same thing by the French and Brazilian FA’s.

Napoleon, it is true made an illegal approach on most of Europe, and no-one is quite accusing Man Utd of that just yet (but personally I would keep an eye on them, never turn you back that’s what I say) but they do stand accused of tapping up players as young as seven in those leagues as they search for future stars of the game.

Anyway Manchester United fervently deny the allegations and in a statement on the clubs website stated the following:

"These stories do not have an element of truth and sadly no attempt was made to contact Manchester United to verify the accuracy of the claims.

"Please be assured that we treat these matters extremely seriously and we have registered our complaints accordingly.

"These reports do serious damage to both the reputation of the club and the credibility of our scouts in these countries and we are seeking to redress the balance.

"Manchester United always conducts itself in a right and proper manner and we will take necessary steps to protect the name and integrity of the club."

So for fear of an ABBA reunion, I think it would be just safer for everyone to retire to a safe distance and prepare to kill anyone that even looks likely to invade Europe, or in extreme cases start humming Dancing Queen, as Roy Queen is rumoured to do on a the moors on the nights of the full moon.

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