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Things that get on my bloody nerves: Old People

By Dave
March 20 2007

There is a pension crisis, every year loads of old people die because of the cold. Someone boring, probably Phil Collins will do an ad. Well here is a solution: why cant we just kill them all? I mean even if we want to keep half of them alive, we could burn the other
half to keep them warm.

Alternatively we could make collapsing beds that would trap the wrinkly
fuckers and blame Al- Ikea

Recently I have had public transport forced upon me and this involves
dealing with the wrinkly generation.

It always starts quiet innocently, with the 'no your first' when you really
mean 'look you old bastard get out of my way in case you die and hold me

I mean really what is the point of old people? Every now and then they will
tell us that some fucking monkey hanging place in Africa the average age for
dying is 50.

Well Phil Collins aside I say fucking good, let the bastards die, if nothing
else it will stop the bastards getting in front of me in the queue for the

And the normal response is 'well you will be old one day yourself'. Only I
wont, or at least if I am I wont be using public transport, I will die in
bed with my 18 year old 5th wife.

Really I cant help but feel that old age is wasted upon the old, I mean if
it was me I would remain in the house pretending to be deaf and demanding
bed baths off everyone within range.

I have my life sorted out, first I was young and reckless, next I was middle
aged and fairly wealthy next I intend to be old and pretend I am deaf to
annoy people.

And that is my point, they have trousers up to their chins, they have an
opinion, yet no actual education on every subject under the sun, they never
let a complete absence of all the facts get in the way of a good argument.

And despite all this there is still a campaign that makes euthanasia
illegal, hell fuck making it legal, how about making it compulsory?

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