By Gary Watton
October 23 2016

I fell asleep on Sunday afternoon and had this beautiful dream that we stuffed ManUre four-nil. Pedro and Kante both scored. It must be a dream. We defended well and Tibo kept a clean sheet. It has to be a dream. Costa behaved himself and didn't get booked. Obviously a dream. Ibrahimovic helped us to keep a clean sheet and Moaninho talked more gibberish after the match. I must contact some Man yawnited fans now and ask them what the real score was..........  

You know you're shit when Kante scores against you. Laugh out loud.

 

CHELSEA 4 Manchester United 0; half time: 2-0

CHELSEA goal scorers: Pedro; Cahill; Hazard; Kante

CHELSEA team: Courtois; Azpilicueta; Luiz; Matic; Kante; Cahill; Alonso; Moses; Hazard; Pedro; Costa. Used substitutes: Chalobah; Batshuayi; Willian

 

CHELSEA leading scorers:

Costa seven goals

Hazard four goals (including one penalty)

Batshuayi three goals

Moses three goals

Cahill two goals

Fabregas two goals

Willian two goals

Azpilicueta one goal

Kante one goal

Pedro one goal