Chelsea
An Historic Occasion!
Juan Mata
By Gary Watton
March 25 2014
After that historical and even hysterical landmark of demolishing over-rated Arse-nil by SIX goals to NIL, more history will be made tonight. Perhaps for the first time in more than twenty years, the sworn enemies of Arsenic, Chelsea, and Liverpoo will be united in unholy matrimony as they cheer on Manchester disUnited!
It is a measure of just how far ManUre have fallen in recent months that we can all cheer them on, safe in the knowledge that they do not pose a threat to us for the foreseeable future. Of course, the devotees of Tottensham Hypespur will be party poopers and desire a derby triumph for Manchester Mercenaries. Such are the ironies of life, but just when we momentarily sell our souls and cheer on the Red Devils, the chances are that they will not oblige us with a win. In the absence of Robbing Van Percy, the burden will fall upon Wayward Looney to produce the kind of performance that justifies the hype. Maybe tonight Juan Mata will do his former club a big favour and deliver against Manchester Wannabes.
Meanwhile at the Emirates, we can all expect the flat track bullies of Arse-nil to bounce back from their Six-Nil spanking with a routine win over Swansea City. After their three points have been secured, we will all be treated to more tiresome bullshit about how great Arsenic are again, and that Oxlade-Chamberlain is a superhero. Well, the Ox is so cosmic that the other day during the SIX-NIL, he tried to save a shot from a genuine superstar, Eden Hazard which was going wide! What a king-sized Muppet. I would much rather have Neville Chamberlain playing for my team. Oh Arsenic followers, please stop deluding yourselves about how magnificent you are. You know that it will only end in tears.
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25/03/2014 09:33
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