By Ben Woolhead
February 11 2009

5. Last January our misery was banished by the return of a familiar face, but this time around the ghosts of Christmasses past came back to haunt us - it seemed our old boys wanted to do little else but kick us hard in the Niagaras when we were already down. The Little Runt scored not once but twice against us - the first coming for West Ham courtesy of a Scott Parker pass in the 2-2 draw at St James', and the second a debut strike for Arab Plaything FC which proved to be the winner. Even more galling still was the image of Fat Sam's odious visage beaming with joy at his new side's triumph over us a week later.

6. There wasn't even to be the succour or welcome distraction of a stirring run in the Cup. Given helped protract our Third Round tie with Hull, securing a goalless draw away, only for the Tigers to complete their second smash-and-grab raid on Tyneside of the season in the replay.

7. Our treatment room continued to be as full as our dressing room, the most serious casualties being ASBO and Little Saint Mick. Both were injured at the City of Manchester Stadium, leaving just five days to source replacements before the transfer window closed. And to think we could have got some money for Little Saint Mick - now we'll probably have to witness him struggle back to full fitness just in time for the end of the season, when he'll be off on a free. Still, it was good to know that in Owen's absence at least Shola Ameobi would be around - even if it was hard to believe that someone who couldn't tell if they'd been burgled might be an asset...

I suppose that after all this doom and gloom I should at least try and finish on a positive note. Well, here goes...

Somehow we never actually fell beneath the all-important line and into the relegation zone in January. And we also managed to sign up a player whose goalscoring feats bring new meaning to the word "prolific". Just a shame, then, that we'll have to wait ten years at least to find out whether Cameron Gascoigne can follow in his uncle's footsteps. Hopefully he won't be sidetracked by his uncle's other footsteps along the way.

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