By Matthew Jones
August 30 2004

A selection of quotes attributed to Sir Bobby Robson who was today "relieved from his duties" as Newcastle United manager. After 50 years in football, here are some of his best bits!

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'
Ameobi: 'No, not really'
Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'
Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'

"Andy O'Brien has an horrendous nose, the poor lad. It is massive, it is."

"we may have more quality on paper, we don't play on paper. We play on grass"

"Denis Law once kicked me at Wembley in front of the Queen in an international. I mean, no man is entitled to do that, really"

"Hitler didn't tell us when he was going to send over those doodlebugs, did he?" - On why he was refusing to name his England team before a World Cup qualifer against Sweden in 1989"

"We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought"

"Look at those olive trees. They're two hundred years old - from before the time of Christ!"

"I played cricket for my local village. It was 40 overs per side, and the team that had the most runs won. It was that sort of football"

"Players never know why they are taken off or substituted - until they become managers"

"They're two points behind us, so we're neck and neck"

"I'd say he's the best in Europe, if you put me on the fence"

"Tottenham have impressed me: they haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun"

"If we start counting our chickens before they hatch, they won't lay any eggs in the basket"

"I would have given my right arm to be a pianist"

"I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about"

"Their football was exceptionally good - and they played some good football"

"Eighteen months ago they [Sweden] were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Germany, Holland, Russia and anybody else if you like"

"We're taking 22 players to Italy, sorry, to Spain... where are we, Jim?"
-On whether Paul Gascoigne should have gone to the 1998 World Cup.

"Sarajevo isn't Hawaii"

"The first 90 minutes are the most important"

"In a year's time, he's a year older"

"Some of the goals were good, some of the goals were sceptical"

"Anything from 1-0 to 2-0 would be a nice result"

"Home advantage gives you an advantage"

"The margin is very marginal"

"Well, we got nine and you can't score more than that"

"If you're a painter, you don't get rich until you're dead. The same happens with managers. You're never appreciated until you're gone, and then people say: 'Oh, he was OK'. Just like Picasso"

"What can I say about Peter Shilton? Peter Shilton is Peter Shilton, and he has been Peter Shilton since the year dot"

"Daft as a brush"
- On Paul Gascoigne.

"When he was dribbling, he used to go through a minefield with his arm, a bit like you go through a supermarket"
- On Paul Gascoigne.

"The little lad jumped like a salmon and tackled like a ferret"
- On Paul Parker at the at the 1990 World Cup.

"They can't be monks - we don't want them to be monks, we want them to be football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level"
- On Newcastle's disciplinary problems.

"If we invite any player up to the Quayside to see the girls and then up to our magnificent stadium, we will be able to persuade any player to sign"

"I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final"

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose"

"We used to have Shaka Hislop on our books but I've never heard of Shakira. Is she a singer?"
- On learning that Shakira was staying in the same Barcelona hotel as his players in November.

"For a player to ask for a transfer has opened everybody's eyebrows"

"I said to the lads in the dressing room at half time, I said, there was nothing to say."

"Practice makes permanent."

"One day, someone will end a football game scoring more than Brazil. This MIGHT be the time that they lose!"

"Don't count your eggs until the chicken's laid them."

"The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important"

"We've got great speed in the team, not just Gary Speed, but great speed!"

"Now we've got Southgate..." (on just signing Jonathan Woodgate)

"He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself, nobody will catch him"

"My father had 5 sons, I had 4 brothers"

"They're 2 points behind us, so we're neck and neck"

" I'm not going to look beyond the semi-final - but I would love to lead Newcastle out at the final"

"Well, we got nine and you can't score more than that"

"I do want to play the short ball and I do want to play the long ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about"

"Eighteen months ago they (Sweden) were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Germany, Holland, Russia and anybody else if you like"

"He never fails to hit the target. But that was a miss"

"Tottenham have impressed me: they haven't thrown in the towel even though they have been under the gun"

"Both teams - and Brazil even - got better on their way to the World Cup final"

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game that they lose"

"We don't want our players to be monks, we want them to be football players because a monk doesn't play football at this level."

"All right, Bellamy came on at Liverpool and did well, but everybody thinks that he's the saviour, he's Jesus Christ. He's not Jesus Christ"

 Played: 255, Won: 119, Drew: 64, Lost: 72

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