By Dave Eadevic
March 22 2011

Three weeks I have in Newcastle. Three whole weeks. Normally at least three matches, however given our fa cup heroics, and yet another pointless international break, it was actually one match. Stoke away. I don’t like Stoke, sorry but there it is, I am not sure how much you would have to pay me to live in Stoke, but it would be in the high billions. 

I do however like the odd person from stoke. And one of the very oddest is my old flat mate from university.

Our wives had decided that we were only allowed to meet up once a year due to the amount of alcohol consumed during these meetings, so this seemed as good of a time as any.

John was getting ready to move to Brentford after being evicted for putting a sky light in his flat (the people upstairs were furious) and I would have to move quickly if I wanted to drink his beer and eat his food.

So pausing only to pick up the drain on my resources’, which my wife assures me is our son we set off for the midlands.

It didn’t start well the map I bought from the garage said merely ‘here be dragons’ in the portion I assumed would contain Stoke. Programming the journey into the Sat Nav made the usually quite affable Irish girl break down in tears and shout, ‘Davy no for god’s sake why do you want to go there?’

The first half passed quickly, I honestly thought we were unlucky to be one down at the interval. Ferguson I have decided I like (which I assume will be a huge relief to him) the second half I refuse to speak of, except to say a pox be upon their house.

Deciding that this was quite possibly a bad week to give up glue sniffing, I decided to go to a pub.

Pausing only to pop into the tourist information office to ask about some people that were there last year, I decided to contemplate life as a Geordie.

Its an affliction I seem to have passed onto my son, the second he left school and went to university, we both knew it would be Newcastle, the fact that they offered the course he wanted to do I think was a happy coincidence.

Not having had as many years coming to terms with quite how bad life can be as a Toon fan he was a bit down.

Somehow shaking off his grief long enough to fail to get off with the barmaid we discussed what the hell we were doing in a bar in the middle of bloody no-where to watch a bunch of over paid tossers fail miserably.

And this is what we came up with; in no particular order.

Its who we are.

Its our side.

We know most of the words for the songs.

That barmaid is wearing a particularly low cut top.

What else would we do at a weekend?

I mean really low cut.

We would have nothing to talk about.

Quick she’s bending over.

Ashley is a t***.

Cleavage, I saw cleavage.

Not sure about Pardew either to be honest.

And on it went, until we went back to my old flat mate’s house and decided that this was it, we’d had enough and wouldn’t be bothering again, at least until the next game.

Fear and Loathing In Stoke

Discussion started by TyneTalk (IP Logged), 22/03/2011 18:10

TyneTalk
22/03/2011 18:10

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tunyc
22/03/2011 19:22

The sat-nav girls are Irish over there, huh? They still sound like robots here. Why do they all have female voices?

Anyway, good report. About that second half-the less said, the better.

If you're ever in NYC, make sure to hit a couple bars downtown. Below 14th it's like they make potential barmaids submit photos (tbf the guys are the same way-the b circuit of underwear modeling, my wife says).

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davenufc
22/03/2011 20:02

I am supposed to be coming to Bensonhurst for a family wedding.

Pardon spelling and geography But I dont think Jersey is that far from you.

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tunyc
23/03/2011 14:59

Bensonhurst? You sure it's in Jersey? The only Bensonhurst I know is a neighborhood in Brooklyn. That's in my hood for sure. Actually not too far from where I play one of my pub leagues.

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davenufc
23/03/2011 16:09

Not sure at all to be honest. Was told last summer when they were visiting myself in Italy. I knew they lived in Jersey so I assumed that Bensonhurst was there.

But never having visited I dont have a clue.

Pretty sure I will be going assuming I get a visa anyway.

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tunyc
23/03/2011 17:33

I'll bet it's Brooklyn. Lots of people who are from or work in NYC live in Jersey just over the river. The "NYC area" effectively includes NE Jersey-Jersey City, Hoboken, Weehawken, Patterson, even Newark and all the old shipbuilding towns.

As you have friends/relatives living in this area, I will withhold my opinion of it.

How long you looking to be in the area?

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davenufc
23/03/2011 22:57

Well I was hoping for about a week.

I for some reason best known to me have always wanted to go a baseball game so I was planning to attempt that as well.

But realistically it depends on time and whether it fits around work.

I am due to retire in August unfortantely the wedding is in July.

Anywhere you recomend staying?

And two more questions if you dont mind, is it worth renting a car or is it impossible to park

And is there anywhere for a decent drink?

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tunyc
24/03/2011 15:28

If you're not choosy about baseball, get tickets to a Mets game. They're a shambles but a lot closer to where you're staying than Yankee Stadium and the ticket price is much better. Last season people were practically giving them away on stubhub.

I don't know Brooklyn lodging at all. If you want to see the city it's best to stay in Manhattan. What sort of budget do you have? I can recommend spots in the city but the price range is huge.

Drinking? Again, Bensonhurst isn't my hood but I know it's really residential. I guess there's neighborhood pubs I'm but if you want nightlife you can go to Williamsburg in northern Brooklyn. To be honest, if you're going to go that far you should just hang out in the city. Williamsburg is as expensive as Manhattan and the hipsters are annoying if you ask me. In Manhattan I know a ton of spots-let me know the sort of place you like and I'll recommend something.

I wouldn't mess with a car if you don't want to leave the city. Free parking is hard to come by and there are strange regulations on it. Pay parking is prohibitively expensive. Plus, the subway goes everywhere and runs 24 hours.

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davenufc
24/03/2011 20:20

Couldn't care less which team I see. I used to watch it years ago so I always fancied going to a game.

My budget is usually described as greedy yet demanding.

Thanks for the advice, I may get back to you once I find out where I am stopping.

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tunyc
24/03/2011 20:56

Do that.

And it would be cool to share a drink if you get a minute! You know, irl.

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davenufc
24/03/2011 21:58

I am sure I can be presuded into a drink or 7.

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TOONTILLIDIE
25/03/2011 18:40

Good story Dave, do you live in Brenford, live near the place but from north originally.

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davenufc
26/03/2011 10:51

No sorry I live just outside Verona for most of the time.

It was my mate that was moving to brentford.

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