By Mark Deeks
December 31 2003

Welcome to the latest column! Written as the year changes from 2003 to 2004, midway during the season, and at an ideal time to analyse where the beloved team known as NUFC are standing.

MARK’S COLUMNS
January 2004

Welcome to the latest column! Written as the year changes from 2003 to 2004, midway during the season, and at an ideal time to analyse where the beloved team known as NUFC are standing.

Well, as I write, the Toon stand 7th in the league, safely through to the 3rd round of the UEFA Cup, and days away from embarking on our latest FA Cup adventure, with a tricky away fixture at Southampton. Since we were last brought together on these pages, we have had five league fixtures: home games with Liverpool, Tottenham and Blackburn, sandwiching away ties at Charlton and Leicester. Those five games brought a reward of only 6 points out of 15. Surely not enough for a team supposed to be battling for Champions League qualification.

I could go through the games one by one as usual, but here I prefer to pick out only major talking points in favour of my mid-season / end of year review. The undoubted highlight of the last month is obviously the home game with Spurs. Where following a pretty awful opening half hour, Monsieur Robert decided to give the kind of masterclass rarely seen, as he blew Spurs apart, first with two of the greatest strikes surely ever witnessed at SJP, then with crossing of mind-blowing quality that Super Al just couldn't resist. Twice. 4-0 the score, and a truly memorable afternoon for all of us lucky to be present. I was often heard in the following days to tell anyone that would listen that SJP hadn't bounced like that in a long time, and I stand by that. When Robert's second pearler flew in, the atmosphere was electric, and the never-ending choruses of "LAURENT, LAURENT ROBERT, EVERYBODY KNOWS HIS NAME!!!" were raucous. Somehow, even though long-time Toon target Stephen Carr was given a truly awful time by our French master, I would still like to see him come through the SJP entrance but more of that later.

The other major point for me during the month, was this week's home defeat by Blackburn. Alright so the guy stuck it in with his hand, but the point is that we were awful. Again. Dismal performances at Charlton and Leicester had preceded this one, and we really should be able to put away teams like this, home or away! Too many players are not turning on the performances we know they are capable of, and in fact I will go through the team in a minute. But the sorry statistics are, that the list of teams who have stopped us scoring at home this season does not exactly read like a list of the cream of Europe: Bolton, Birmingham, Partizan Belgrade, Blackburn. Add to that an away scoring record at Wolves, Charlton and Leicester that reads Played 3, Goals For 2, and I feel that a considerable chunk of our problem becomes evident.

So here we go. If any of the Toon players or management happen to stumble upon this article, please remember they are my opinions, which as a loyal fan who pours what little spare cash he has into the club, I feel I am entitled to give.

DEFENCE

SHAY GIVEN
One of the few who can hold their head up high. Putting aside the debacle at Wolves, Shay has made few errors. And can be pointed at for getting us more than his fair share of points so far e.g. Charlton away, Middlesbrough away.

AARON HUGHES
Remains the player I feel most sorry for at SJP. What people seem to have long forgotten is that the lad is a CENTRE HALF!! A centre half who once got asked to cover at full back in an injury crisis, and the next thing we knew he was Mr Versatility, being asked to play full back either side on a regular basis. In my humble opinion, he was the best centre half at the club for some time, but seems to be no longer given the chance to stake his place there. As I have regularly said, NUFC should have invested in a quality full back long ago and given Hughes the chance his loyalty deserves. Now it looks as if Stephen Carr may come in, Hughes will lose his place at full back, and that'll be that. Waste. Shame.

ANDY O'BRIEN
Formed a decent partnership with Bramble for a while in Woodgate's absence. Always gives 100% but leaves you with the nagging doubt sometimes that his decision making speed isn't quick enough at this level. An undoubtedly worthwhile squad member. And he scores against the Mackems.

TITUS BRAMBLE
Remains the biggest worry at the back. Capable of some of the greatest, most bone shuddering tackling I have seen in many a year. Then is capable of some of the most schoolboy-like, inept, completely misjudged, passing and clearances I have EVER seen. Regularly delivers 70% excellent games. Then is a disaster waiting to happen the rest of the time. Every striker knows they just have to keep sniffing all game and a chance will surely come. A superb Division One defender, a decent Premiership player, a heart-attack on a European scale.

JONATHAN WOODGATE
I, like many, am starting to worry he's injury prone. Just doesn't look as all powerful as he did. And is capable of howlers as well. And his performance at home against Liverpool was very poor indeed. Quite possibly an excellent defender, and, don't get me wrong, does a lot of good things when we can get him on the pitch, but just hasn't proven it for me yet.

OLIVIER BERNARD
The most improved player at NUFC in the last two years. Starting to add consistency to his game which was lacking before. Committed, strong in the tackle, fast, forming a good partnership on the left with his big pal Laurent, and surely one of the first names on the team sheet at the moment. Also, capable of the odd stunning finish (see Chelsea at home last season, Arsenal away, this). Sometimes causes a panic with his positional sense and the odd rash challenge, but mostly very good.

ANDY GRIFFIN
I feel a touch sorry for Andy Griffin. Never shirks his job, tackles like an animal, tries his best all the time, but just isn't a European class player. If the lad was happy to stay, I'd gladly have him as cover at full back, but if the money was available, I'd sooner buy someone better.

So, in summary, my defence situation would be:
First Choice: Bernard, Hughes, Woodgate, Carr
Cover: LB to be bought, O'Brien, Bramble, Griffin

MIDFIELD

LAURENT ROBERT
After an indifferent season last time out, is starting to play like we know he can. Has finally started weighing in with goals, is continuing to get his fair share of assists, and has even added a spot of defending to his game. Yes our mercurial Frenchman has been seen tracking back, trying to help out, and even doing a spot of tackling (although his red card at Goodison almost made us wish he hadn't bothered!). A good season so far, keep it up!

GARY SPEED
Tries hard. That really is all I can say about Gary Speed this season. Works hard, runs around a lot, but isn't tackling as hard as he once did, his passing is average at best, and seems to get caught out of position quite regularly. Oh, and his goals have almost completely dried up. A loyal servant who I will forever be grateful to, but at the highest level, a decent squad member at best.

KIERON DYER
I nearly gave this column the sub heading, "Dyer: What does he actually do?", for that is how I feel about our seemingly untouchable midfielder. Robson loves him, so he plays (when fit) every game. He NEVER gets substituted regardless of quality of performance, and NEVER, NEVER gets dropped! I believe I have written this before, but I will try again. For me, there are two kinds of midfielder. First, your holding player who sits there, tackles, gets stuck in, covers, and maybe chips in with a couple of goals a season (see Vieira, Keane etc.). Then you have the traditional attacking midfielder who can unlock defences, burst through at speed into the box to support the strikers, picks defence splitting passes, displays tricks, and scores 10-12 goals a season. I REPEAT! WHICH ONE THESE IS DYER? Neither!! The kid runs and runs and runs, next to never shoots, and seems obsessed by trying to play somebody else in (very commendable but annoying after a while) for the perfect goal. This usually results in him being crowded out or tackled. And his shooting is APPALLING! Why do we have the only attacking midfielder in the country who cannot score?!? If Liverpool or anyone else want to offer big money for him let him go. Part of me would be sad to see it but there you go. Don't get me wrong, if I thought Bobby had the guts to keep him as a squad player after having brought someone in with real quality, then I'd be delighted to have him around. But as a first choice player in his position, he simply does not deliver.

HUGO VIANA
People criticise Boss Man Hugo for repeatedly failing to deliver when given the opportunity. I just think this is unfair. His main run of games came on the left wing, when I, for one, didn't think he did too bad. But in the main, apart from that, he's been given fleeting chances here and there, mainly as a sub with a few minutes left, and the kind of run Dyer has been given without producing results, is the stuff of Viana's dreams! Even when there have been injury problems, Bobby would rather play others out of position than give Hugo a chance. I know he shouldn't go complaining to the press, but I really can't blame the kid. Bobby said he was bought as the long term replacement for Speed! I just don't buy it. Do you really expect me to believe that Bobby managed to convince a young superstar who had his pick from many of the top clubs in Europe to come to SJP to sit around for 3 YEARS waiting for Gary Speed to retire??? I repeat, I just don't buy it. I think the lad's been promised games he hasn't been given. Not played enough to comment on.

LEE BOWYER
My feelings at the time of his signing are well documented. Since then, he has progressed from a quiet start to becoming a valuable squad member. Mind you, I can't believe he hasn't been just a little narked at his constant position changes. Right wing, left wing, he's played them both. And this when many consider his best position to be in the middle. But then we've got an abundance of central midfielders haven't we? From a purely footballing point of view, I'm glad to have him around. Wonder if he'll ever get a game in his position?…

JERMAINE JENAS
Awesome last year. Believed his hype. Poor this year. The only Toon player to have played every game this season. That's unbelievable. Soft in the tackle, poor passing, shooting non-existent, and so goals ratio likewise. Tries hard I think, but that's not good enough at this level. Needs a rest. A long one.

NOBBY SOLANO
Fell out with the manager, or more precisely, the manager fell out with him. If he went back on his word when he signed the new contract, then fair enough. But he remains our best natural right sided winger at the club. And although his crossing can often be suspect, until a world beater comes along, he'd do for me. Many clubs would have him. But I wouldn't sell just yet.

DARREN AMBROSE
Can someone tell me what this kid's position is supposed to be? Has come on as sub all over the midfield, and to be fair, has chipped in with two goals so far (bet Dyer wishes he had a scoring record like that!). But honestly, has done little to impress me yet. Looks like a makeweight at this level, but he hasn't played a massive amount so maybe I'm being harsh.

I could reveal my midfield first choice and cover list now, but I have a plan up my sleeve which requires me to deal with the forward line so as not to give the game away!……

ATTACK

ALAN SHEARER
What can be said? Another awe-inspiring display. At times, a one-man goal machine who remains priceless. None better. Irreplaceable. It'll be a sad day…

SHOLA AMOEBI
In the long term absence of Bellamy, a lot has been asked of Big Shola, and for many he has failed to deliver. A mate of mine who likes his stats told me recently that on starts alone, Shola averages one goal every three games. He said that pointed to the fact he wasn't good enough, especially when you add on his many sub appearances. I queried that if Bellamy produced one every three people would be delighted, and that that kind of ratio would probably equal about 15 goals a season, which for a second striker isn't bad. Mind you, saying that, I'm not sure Shola will produce 15 goals over a season. His ratio isn't horrendous (I'm sure Dyer would kill for a ratio like that!….), it's just not all that fantastic. Still has a lot to prove at this level for a lot of people.

CRAIG BELLAMY
A long term absentee so far, and due to return in February. However, as many regular readers will know, I am a big fan of Bellamy (when he shuts up!), and as a result, he is the focal point of my "If I was manager, what would I do?" cunning plan. We all know Bellamy is lightning fast. He causes havoc, can stretch defences, and is capable of scoring the odd goal. So why not play him just behind the front two as an attacking midfielder? This would take the pressure off him to weigh in with 20 goals (something I don't think he is ever likely to do), but would allow him the freedom to run around causing defences nightmares as he burst into the box from midfield. Surely he could do no worse than Dyer. And I hazard to suggest, maybe a lot better…. Also, he's got the engine to track back when needed. Worth a look I feel…

LOMANA LUA LUA
No matter how much I will this kid to be brilliant (cos I love them damn somersaults!!!), I just don't think he will be. Occasional bursts of greatness, do not a European class player make. Have him in the squad if he'll stick around, but if someone offers money, take it.

Therefore, the midfield and attack would look like this:
Midfield First Choice: Robert, Bowyer, Viana / Bellamy, Solano
Midfield Cover: Viana, Speed, Jenas, Dyer
Also keep: Ambrose, Lua Lua (for the wing)

Attack First Choice: Shearer, one to be bought
Attack Cover: Ameobi, Chopra, Bellamy

As for who to buy, well it's difficult. I for one am sick of buying potential. As I have said many times before, have we bought any, proven, world-class quality since Shearer? I'm not sure we have. This policy needs to change if we are to achieve results. Depending on cash available, in January I would have:

Stephen Carr, Henrik Larsson or Patrick Kluivert, and if possible that wonder kid attacking midfielder from Ajax whose name escapes me. Then I'd start playing people in position. Those names above would not require a huge outlay, and if it meant sacrificing Dyer to pay for the lot….. well OK. That could give us a potential team of:

			Given
Carr		Hughes		Woodgate		Bernard
Solano			Bowyer			Robert
			Viana/Bellamy/Ajax Kid
		Shearer		Kluivert/Larsson

Looks good I think. Especially with a prospective bench of: Harper, O'Brien, Speed, Jenas, (or whoever loses out from that battle in the attacking midfield role in the first team!), Ameobi.

Obviously we are stretching further and further into the land of fantasy here, and it's all just my opinion, but what has to be remembered is that where we currently are in the league is just not good enough. Surrounded and / or behind teams like Charlton, Fulham, Southampton etc is not on. We are a big club, and we should, at least by the law of mathematics, win something now and then. Let's start sorting it out once and for all.

Oh and before I go, I don't think Robson should be sacked. Not yet. But a heavily hinted retirement at the end of this season would be best for all concerned I think. But I've taken up enough of your time to start arguing my case for that now. Till next time folks, have a fantastic new year, keep loving the Toon, all the best to everyone concerned, and take care.

Keep the faith.

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