By Mark Deeks
December 27 2002

BOLTON AWAY, DECEMBER 26TH and Mark is not a happy bunny. We should not have lost this game.. not in a million years, but we did. Since Man U lost, we had the chance to go level with them. This weekend would have given us a boost if we won. BOLTON AWAY, DECEMBER 26TH.

{"For those of a sensitive disposition, perhaps this is not the column for you. I apologise. I'm fuming. This is not a short column, I hope you bear with me. This is an empassioned opinion on the team I love. It honestly almost hurts to write this. Keep the faith." Mark Deeks, 27/12/02}

That's it, I've had it. I am going to try and make this as balanced an argument as possible, but emotions may get the better of me. I went to Bolton yesterday. I love Boxing day games, usually a great atmosphere, and as this was only 45 minutes drive from my life here in Yorkshire, this was easier to get to than the home games!

I'm glad I went, otherwise I probably would have let myself explain the manner of this defeat away, but after seeing it with my own eyes, I feel I can give as accurate a conclusion as possible.

Bobby. Sir. I have the utmost respect for everything you have achieved during your illustrious career. I regularly bow to your superior insight. But on this occasion I can take no more.

WE ARE TRYING TO WIN THE PREMIERSHIP WITH A EUROPEAN CLASS FRONT LINE AND AN ENGLISH 1ST DIVISION DEFENCE.

I have regularly been quoted as saying that I believed in the qualities of Aaron Hughes, Andy O Brien, Andy Griffin et al. I like all of our defenders. All of them (obviously except Marcelino). They all, without exception, give you 100%. Steven Caldwell was often seen yesterday to be screaming at his fellow defenders in an effort to be seen as the backline general we so desperately need. Commitment and desire to do well can not be questioned from any of them. I firmly believe that they are all likeable fellows.

But try as I might, I can stand up for them no longer. No matter what the explanations might be, we have to come to the following conclusion. There is no other way to put it.

They are not good enough. They are not good enough. They are not good enough.

They are not Premiership defenders. I do not mind conceding the odd goal. I do not expect the NUFC defence to be inpenetrable. Goals will go in. This is sport after all, and not every eventuality can be catered for. If an opponents' team has earned the right through sporting endeavour or a touch of class, then fine.

This then covers the 2nd Bolton goal yesterday. What is known in the trade as "a screamer".

The rest it does not.

1st goal: A player is allowed to drift across the edge of the box without any discernible tackle going in. He is then allowed to pass to a completely unmarked world cup player who finishes well. Not good enough.

3rd goal: A journeyman midfielder is allowed to unceremonially hoof a ball into the middle of our box (after a corner had failed to be cleared) at which point a striker who has had a very poor season is allowed to loop a faintly challenged header over our keeper. Not good enough.

4th goal: Our supposed star holding midfielder, Gary Speed, (who regular readers will know I think is having an absolute mare of a season), somehow manages to play the perfect proverbial slide rule pass through the centre of his own defence to the disbelieving Ricketts. Not good enough.

I like Bolton. Nice ground, nice fans, nice stewards, decent parking facilities for away fans. But they aren't very good. Yet they couldn't believe their luck yesterday as our backline offered up chance after chance. Make no mistake. We should have won this game. We could have won the game. Yet, like at Blackburn and Man United in particular, a good away scoring record does not gain you points when you leak in goals like this.

Our away defensive record is abysmal. Our home one is only reasonably decent because when teams come to SJP they are often content to sit back and play for a point. But when we go away from home, teams come at us and we struggle.

I hear in the last couple of days that Sir Bobby is not even sure he is gooing to buy a centre half!

Bobby, I love you like a grandad. But god man, you don't just need one centre half. You need a top drawer full back for a start, such as Wayne Bridge of Southampton. This would mean that if we are only to buy ONE centre half then Aaron Hughes could move inside to his natural position. Then to play alongside him, you need a thug. A proven thug. I don't want a cultured passer of the ball, I don't even want someone who we think will chip in with 5 goals a season. We want a defender. A thug with brute force, a little bit of pace and leadership skills. Someone with a "thou shalt not pass" attitude.

If Jaap Stam is to be the man then great. If it's Materazzi then even better. I don't care who it is, just buy him. Now. If Laurent Robert is to be allowed to go to Inter Milan (and it seems more likely by the game, not that I'll be lining up to stop him), then I don't want the cash. Swap him for Materazzi. If we get a million or two on top then even better, but I'd rather know that a defender was definitely on his way than hoping the cash would be spent there.

So, Materazzi + £2 million = Robert. That would be a good start.

Then, use that windfall of Champions' League cash that we're always hearing about, and go and tempt Southampton for Wayne Bridge. Or Stephen Carr at Spurs. Either would be a great buy. £6 million would probably do the job there.

Then, and this would probably need the most cash of all, if we really want to be seen as a big club, then I would dearly love to see the following attempted.

Get £10 million of our finest English pounds, and go and wave it infront of Gerrard Houllier. Then tell Danny Murphy that we're going to make him the next England captain, build our midfield around him, and guarantee him first team football (cos when Hamann comes back from injury, he won't get that at Liverpool), and replace Gary Speed. Sorry Gary. Very good squad player to have around, but I think you're past your best mate.

So we would have spent £14 million pounds, seen Robert go, but have got through the door a decent full back, a thuggish centre half, and a world class holding midfielder.

Obviously this is all fantasy, but I can assure you, that team would rip the premiership a new back passage. Isn't it supposed to be £10 million for qualification for the second phase of the Champions' League? So we would only really have spent £4 million or so. Where has all that season ticket revenue gone?.......

There. I think I'm done now. Sorry to blight your Xmas season with all this ranting, but it needs saying. I love this club too much to see the efforts of our fantastic front line undermined any longer. I really felt for people like Super Al (another pair of top class goals again lad) and WKD yesterday. Their efforts should have gained this 3 invaluable points (especially with all the teams around us failing to win), but it didn't. Not because our defenders weren't trying, God knows I thank them for their efforts in the hallowed black n white stripes.

But because, painful as it may seem, they're not good enough.