Neil Browns Huntley Days

By Chris Mac
January 23 2005

Having scraped past Stranraer in round 3 of the Scottish cup we drew Huntley away in the fourth round, I was 19 had passed my driving test in the September of 1991 (a day after the syme incident but that’s another story) I had recently bought my first car a Datsun Sunny Coupe, We required two drivers and believe it or not I didn’t really drink too much back then so volunteered my services the other driver was a well known Bar swinger !!! .

Date 15th Feb 1992

Destination Huntley

We set off together with a rendezvous planned for Forfar not much happened on the first leg of the journey and we met in Forfar got a bite to eat and then set off again. The first car sped off and a few miles up the road we had a chuckle when we passed them on the hard shoulder with a puncture “toot toot get it up yeez” .

Soon after a tidy XR2i passed containing a couple of babes, encouraged to catch them I put the boot down and we soon drew level and the gesturing begun however seeing me for what I was in my wee 1.4 engine the bitch pulled away resulting in some loose chipping smacking my windscreen which duly cracked!!. Everything went silent and I couldn’t quite realize what had happened still going about 70 miles an hour and being totally inexperienced at long haul drives I just carried on with 4 drunken bums laughing there heads off, as we got nearer to Aberdeen the cracks started getting smaller and smaller so much so I had to roll down the window to take some corners as vision was blocked, we boldly made it to Huntley parked up forgot our troubles and headed to the social club.

A brainwave!!! Was thought up to buy cling film and wrap it around the windscreen for the journey home, cant remember much of the game but big Andy did the Biz and we advanced to the QF, we left 5 mins early to get a quick getaway one of the lads foreseen problems and buggered off with the other car so we were down to four. The cling film was applied looked good and all seemed well two piled in the back I got in the drivers seat the fourth member jumped in the front “lets go then” SLAM the door closed and the whole windscreen cling film and all fell in on us “ SHIT “

What could we do ???? fcuk it drive so off we went all very funny leaving Huntley but then out onto the open road and about 20 miles per hour was all my face could handle with the wind blasting against us. Now by this time the rest of Airdrie was up our tail only passing us in safe stretches of the road with a look of pure amazement as big Mick drunk as a monkey was hanging out the windscreen onto the bonnet asking for a light as cars passed us. Things were looking grim and I had to stop as my face looked as if I had just passed Mach 4 . We stopped at a small filling station where a very helpful chap told us to drive round to his garage, inside was a feckin helicopter (apparently he took guys out to the rigs) Mick enquired how much for a lift home “ more than you could afford” The guy then got two sticks and a sheet of polythene and a roll of silver duct tape and made us a windscreen which looked not too bad considering, jumped in couldn’t see a thing it was all blurry out comes Stanley and a small square was cut and off we went still going very slowly and with hardly any vision we amazingly made it past Aberdeen and were well on our way. This is where mother nature decided to piss on us and howling wind soon ripped our makeshift windscreen off and flying into the distance, We managed to get to Laurencekirk (I think that’s what it was called) where an emergency call home to somebody’s dad to come get us was ignored. A car pulled up and offered expert advice “ aye drive doon tae brechin and get a temporary windscreen from the Garage” right cheers pal as if I’m going to believe that. We had no choice but to rejoin the motorway with my 3 passengers now retreated to the back seat with a cover over there heads, I found a pair of gloves belonging to one of the lads girlfriends a nice wee blue pair with white bobbles on them, one hand on the steering wheel and one hand trying to protect my face from the wind and rain I topped 30 MPH ON THE MOTORWAY

As lorry’s flew past me blowing the car all over the road the snow decided to make an appearance and I just could not handle it anymore and pulled over, head in hands and with the 3 drunk monkeys beginning to realize the seriousness of it all a car pulled in same guy from Laurncekirk “ follow me to Brechin “ so we slowly followed him in only his tail lights were guiding me as I couldn’t see shit, finally we arrived in brechin at a BP garage where myself and the guy went in he asked the cashier for a temporary windscreen “none” I still thought this guy was at the wind up but he insisted “ we’ll get one in Arbroath” so  I left the car and the guys in Brechin jumped in with the guy and his girlfriend and headed to Arbroath. It was just great to get a heat and I soon thawed out and low and behold Shell station in Arbroath had this mystery windscreen so back to Brechin and cleaned the snow off the car and this sheet of clear polythene with two strips of adhesive went from the roof down on to the grill below the windscreen space and then we had to pull the sides in and close the doors.

To my sheer amazement I could see ,the wipers worked and the heat stayed in the car, we thanked our helper and headed off, wary of the conditions I stuck to 60 MPH all the way home and after dropping the lads off at there houses I pulled in the driveway at 00:50 a whopping 8 hours after leaving Huntley. I got a new windscreen soon after and the adhesive stripped the paintwork off my car but I couldn’t care less I had made it from Huntley to Airdrie with nae windae !!!!!

Apologies if I held you up on the way home and huge thanks to our rescuer without whom god knows what would have happened and finally yes it is the Mick you are thinking of Class A dafty.

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