By David
May 20 2004

Well I don’t know about that unless it's Ronaldo’s bird as she is pretty fit as I recall. But as a footy fan, Forest coming before Country of course, how do our girlfriends fit around football?

Since Nick Hornby wrote Fever Pitch, about his addiction with Arsenal from when he was 7 to growing up getting married, having a kid and 2 season tickets for the Gooners (one for his wife as well). Footy has changed a lot, yeah there are more women at the grounds today but if she isn’t into footy have you tried to plan your social calendar recently?

Long gone are the days of playing every Saturday and maybe a game in midweek if there has been a cancellation or you’re on a cup run, now we have to plan not just weeks in advance but the very next week. Television is always changing its schedule or rather changing the footy schedule. So here is a prime example, its your girlfriends birthday on the Thursday, you have a quiet night in and plan to go for a meal on the Friday night. Its perfectly fine as Forest are at home on the Saturday, only for you to find out we’re playing Friday night, and you cant cancel your partners birthday can you as she’ll cancel your season ticket to her ravishing beauty!

So what can we do? How can we manage to avoid these accidents, well I don’t think we can, unless you want to remain single all your life or marry a woman who loves Forest. Hmm but then you’ll be thinking which player does she fancy and hope its not your favourite player as you have put him on a level next to god because of his bravery and footballing genius, not his looks.

Suggestions : Well slowly educate your girl into the passion of football, all women like emotions so why not start here, at least its meeting her half way and I don’t mean taking her to the A-block! Gently allow her into football, don’t explain the offside rule and listen to her and don’t laugh when she asks a question. Answers like, "That’s right". "That’s an interesting opinion." Or " I didn’t think of that before." Will keep her happy for some time and allow you to concentrate on the game.

So you have been together some time and she wants you to pop the question. No not "Will we score 5 this afternoon." Or "Will Clough and Pearce ever go into management together." And then fantasize about them leading us to European cup glory. But the question of marriage. What do you do?

1) Well it has to be summer first of all and in pre-season.

2) Has to be an odd year as to avoid international tournaments

3) And make sure we’re not in the Inter Toto

4) During the Olympics is good

5) As is Wimbledon fortnight,

After you have jumped that hurdle you have to explain that Forest is a perfectly good name for your first child!