Feyenoord Home Column
By Mark Deeks
September 27 2002
Mark Deeks was once again at St James' Park for the Champions League game against European Champoions Feyenoord. Wanna know what he though? Just read on then! All is explained....

Things are frustrating. The main thing I find
frustrating in life is being crap at football. It
wasn't by choice obviously. You know how it is. You're a young lad. Growing up in Newcastle. You have recurring dreams of that turn and instant 30yrd volley into the top corner of the Leazes End goal.

Then you go to school. You're the last picked. There's laughter behind hands. The nearest you get to a 30yrd volley is the distance you fly in the air when that scary chemistry teacher lets fly with a volley of insults and detentions. The nearest you get to the top corner of the Leazes.... well you get the picture.

Then, to feel like you're part of the important action anyway, you start going to the games. Then you start to notice games where you're convinced that you, yes you, the one who has no footballing ability whatsoever, could have made a difference. The frustration levels reach such a point that you just want to leap off the terraces and show 'em how it's done. Cos you could, couldn't you?

This week's champions league game was one game such as this. D'ya know, it wasn't as if we were actually raining chances in, it was just that when the chances came and went, you knew they'd been finishable (is that a word?). When Lua Lua beautifully controlled that ball late on, then lashed it a foot wide, you knew that was it.

To make matters even more frustrating, upon arriving from Wakefield after my mad post-work dash up the M1, I discovered I was Sat next to a very pleasant Canadian lad who was attending his first ever "soccer game"! Don't get me wrong, the guy was friendly, and obviously enjoyed himself, but I could have really done without some of the following statements. (None of these are made up, I promise.)

>"How long is the first half?" [same as the 2nd mate]
>"How long will these guys play without trade-offs?"
[I explained that most would play 90 mins]
>"Jeez these guys sure are strong."
>"You guys are having all the shots but still no
score."
>"Their goaltender sure is good."
>"How come you guys don't have a scoreboard? How do you.." [I wouldn't let him finish that one!...]
[I tried explaining why a guy had been booked for
diving]
>"Jeez that's hilarious."
[I tried to explain offside!.....]
>"So that's to stop them cherry pickin'?.."

You sense that if we'd been 3-0 up then none of these would have been the slightest problem. However, with things how they were,..... nah! Shouldn't complain. They guy really entered into it. Clappin' and that. But he stopped short of singing.

Oh yeh. When the Feyenoord fans were singing "You're **** and you know you are.", I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But fair play to 'em, it was far better than my Dutch would've been.

At the end of it all, I think general opinion says we were a bit unlucky. But as they say, if you don't take your chances at this level etc etc....

All the best to the boys in Juventus. And all the rest to Dougy and Janice from the NW corner with the rest of the lads 'n' lasses to give the boys the support they're gonna need.

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