The usual centre-back pairing of Jonathan Woodgate and Emmanuel Pogatetz played, with Stewart Parnaby earning his second consecutive start at right-back. Andrew Taylor was once more on the left.

Lee Cattermole was once more on the right side of midfield, with Stewart Downing on the left. George Boateng and Julio Arca formed the centre, with Yakubu and Mark Viduka up front.

Schwarzer, Parnaby, Woodgate, Pogatetz, Taylor, Cattermole (Morrison 79), Boateng (Euell 88), Arca, Downing, Yakubu, Viduka (Lee 88), Jones, Xavier

THE FIRST HALF

A match that had so much promise started more tepidly than how Nero's bathwater would be now. Neither side could get a foothold in the game as both teams tentatively sized each other up.

The first effort on goal came when Julio Arca played the ball behind Gary Neville on seven, outfoxing the England defender like a particularly cunning fox. Smoking a cigar. United were opened up more easily than a Newcastle whore with a gas bill to pay as the ball broke to Stewart Downing on the right hand side. One on one, Downing could not beat Tomasz Kuszczak, who deflected his effort over the bar for a corner.

On nine, Manchester United had their first serious attempt when Ryan Giggs set up Wayne Rooney. Giggs' skill was sublime but the ball was played slightly too close to the Boro keeper for United's liking and Schwarzer comfortably gathered.

A minute later and Henrik Larsson's running was causing the Boro problems. Almost one and one, it took a covering challenge from Woodgate to save Middlesbrough.

On eleven the ball came in from the left and Larsson's first touch exquisitely set up Wayne Rooney. The England international failed from six yards however, blasting the ball beyond Boro's right-hand post.

The game was being played at a frenetic tempo but there was still little enough action to allow me to complete my cross-stitch. The windmill sails having been completed, I still had Windy Miller and his infamous oats to sow - a special blue thread for his tabard being purchased.

It was at this stage that I was distracted by Cristiano Ronaldo's skill. He drew Lee Cattermole into the challenge on eighteen, after his infamous dancing allowed him to win Mr Boogie 2007. The free kick was taken from the edge of the box and with United players lined up like pensioner's in the dole queue, United could not beat the first man and Boro cleared.

United were playing a sublime passing game, allowing commentators up and down the country to discharge freely. That was not more so than on twenty-three when Wayne Rooney, who had until this point been anonymous, received the ball from Ryan Giggs. The England international checked on to his right foot, dinked the ball passed Woodgate and thwarted Schwarzer, burying the ball into the left hand side of goal. Boro now had to come from behind.

MIDDLESBROUGH 0 MANCHESTER UNITED 1 (Rooney, 23)

The motivational scoreboard was now in full flow - saying "Stand up if you love the Boro" or some-such nonsense. The crowd however were somewhat muted. Evidently, it was time for Roary. Even a Downing free kick from twenty-five yards out could do little to lift the crowd.

This may have been something to do with Ronaldo's dangerous burst of pace, which was faster than a greyhound's eyeing up a particularly realistic whizzy rabbit thing. Going alone, he took a shot from twenty yards out that Schwarzer struggled, but managed, to save.

United were more fluid than a nervous agoraphobic in a job interview, particularly one who had just had her tea spiked with Senokot. Boro meanwhile had to resort to breaking out of their own half whenever the opportunity presented itself - which was pretty rare.

On twenty-nine however Yakubu received the ball from a Taylor throw-in and rolled his marker. One-on-one he cracked a shot at Kuszczak but the United keeper saved. Perhaps Yakubu should have gone for the opposite corner but hindsight is a wonderful thing in the commentator's world.

On thirty-three Boro were fortunate to escape after they had been undone somewhat too easily. Ryan Giggs failed to make the position pay however, passing behind all United players.

Two minutes later a Pogatetz header from a Downing corner forced a Kuszczak save on the line. The power wasn't there from the Austrian but it was a chance and, like Bovril, warmed up the crowd. Just with less of that sickly meat beef stock taste.

On thirty-five Boro were their own worst enemy as United assaulted Boro's goal, peppering it with shot after shot. First Giggs, then Rooney, something was fishy as United failed to cash their chips. Woodgate eventually headed the ball over the bar for a corner.

From the set-play, United switched wings and played the ball square to Ryan Giggs. He hit a shot across the goal and hit the post, the ball rebounding harmlessly away. At this stage however United were showering the Boro goal - and those showers were golden.

In fact it was less golden showers and more golden torrents as United kept on hitting the Boro like that annoying England band hit that oversized novelty drum whenever they sing "The Great Escape". Quite frankly, if they were sat next to me then they would consider it a great escape for them to leave the stadium unharmed, or at least to leave without the drumstick being inserted into some orifice or other. But that's enough of my prejudices - but with Reo Ferdinand injured and not much happening give me something else I could talk about? Exactly. So I decided to grab a beer.

On forty-three Giggs weaved his way into the box like an expert knitter but Woodgate could match him, deflecting the ball out for a corner. Still, now I know which player I would most want to commission my cross-stitch too…

On forty-four Boro had a breakthrough after an entertaining collision between Kuszczak and Ferdinand. Downing played the ball in with his right foot and the United keeper could only punch it to Arca. He headed the ball to Cattermole who, with his back to goal, volleyed it with his right-foot into the far corner of the net. Boro were level.

MIDDLESBROUGH 1 (Cattermole, 44) MANCHESTER UNITED 1

Towards half-time Larsson went over all too easily and got booked for his troubles, despite being fouled. Still, the Boro fans weren't complaining as it averted a potentially difficult free-kick some twenty yards from goal. The Riverside meanwhile was bouncing more than a kangaroo on speed as the euphoria of the equaliser had still not sank in. And that was that…Boro were perhaps undeservedly level against United at halftime but ultimately they were level. Now they had to build on it.

THE SECOND HALF

Boro started brightly, with Downing getting in behind Neville, forcing Kuszczak into the stretch. Clearly one for his forthcoming work-out video there - which you can probably buy from the United club shop sometime soon. United cleared for the corner, somewhat panicked by Downing's excellent balls.

Downing whipped this ball in from the set-play and the ball fell to the onrushing Boateng who was unmarked and six yards out. He powered a strong header past the United keeper, sending the Boro fans into delirium.

MIDDLESBROUGH 2 (Boateng, 47) MANCHESTER UNITED 1

Boro were in the ascendancy now and Yakubu launched another foray into United territory. His shot from twenty yards out was deflected for another corner but United weren't as generous in defence this time and managed to clear it.

This reporter noticed that Schwarzer had failed to comb his hair at halftime, having a little tufty bit at the back as he threatened to take a goal-kick after Ryan Giggs comically blasted the ball over the bar from twelve yards out. United were starting to clear their heads and attack once more however, and Boro needed to concentrate.

Unfortunately, like the fruit juice in only the finest restaurants, concentrate wasn't on Boro's minds. Under pressure, Rooney fell clumsily in the box on fifty-two and a penalty could have been given but the assistant decided to keep his little flag down, much to the Boro fans' relief.

The game was even yet frenetic, with both sides causing the other problems. On fifty-five Cattermole did well initially who fed the ball out to Parnaby. He played a one-two with Boateng. Boateng was clattered by Namanja Vidic, the ball broke to Parnaby, he chested it and spooned it over the bar, the chance going begging. A Big Issue mate?

A minute later a Ronaldo header threatened to set up Rooney but Woodgate's anticipation was world-class, taking the ball off the England international's head. Then the whistle blew for some reason or other.

Another minute later and a Parnaby challenge saved Boro's blushes after Giggs threatened to be through. United pressure was building once more as Boro were inviting them on by sitting deeper than a fat girl's cleavage.

With no player drinking alcohol and all Eustachian tubes clear, the balance of the game was quite good. The game, in fact, was somewhat even although United were arguably having the majority of the play.

On sixty-two the ball broke to Wayne Rooney around thirty yards out and despite having bodies to pass to in front of him, he cracked an effort from there. It sailed over the bar and probably landed in a market stall somewhere in Eston.

Having looked at the scoreboard I decided that I didn't like the aesthetics of it and urge the club to change it. Meanwhile both sides were having snatched half-chances, with both defences snuffing out the opposing attacks before any real damage could be waged.

On sixty-six a United corner led to a United penalty. Boateng inexplicably handled in the box in an attempt to shield his head from the incoming ball. Ronaldo took the spot-kick to a chorus of boos but made no mistake, placing the globe into the bottom-right hand corner. Schwarzer guessed the right way but the important thing was that United were level. And it couldn't have been more of a gift if it had been specially wrapped by Thorntons.

MIDDLESBROUGH 2 MANCHESTER UNITED 2 (Ronaldo (pen), 67)

Boro broke on seventy but a Downing free-kick resulted in a comfortable catch from Kuszczak. A minute later, a frustrated Boateng fouled Rooney some thirty yards out and Ronaldo had the opportunity to punish Boro from another set-play. Fortunately it was fired well wide.

On seventy-three another free-kick allowed Downing to pass the ball to Taylor on the right. He crossed the ball into the penalty area but Viduka decided to use Ferdinand like a particularly ugly ladder, conceding a free-kick in his climbing.

On seventy-five Boro should have had a free-kick but instead United found themselves three on four. Despite such an interesting arrangement, Rooney's first shot was deflected back to him and his second was largely ineffective as it went harmlessly wide.

A contact lens issue forced Michael Carrick out of the game whilst a chipped fingernail was also of some concern. Heinze blasted the ball into the travelling army of fans on seventy-eight - thanking them in his own personal way for their support.

A minute later, goal-scorer Cattermole was replaced by Morrison - aiding Boro's balance further. Another score for the Temperance Movement. This didn't stop United's attacking though, as they were awarded a free-kick some thirty yards out on the far-right. Giggs chipped the ball in and Boro headed it out for a corner. Then Boro headed the ball out from the corner, clearing their lines expertly.

On eighty-five Boro had the chance to grab the win. Viduka found it hard to keep the ball between his feet but keep the ball he did and tried to have a shot from fifteen-yards. The ball broke to Parnaby who could only manage to launch a tame shot at Kuszczak, who comfortably gathered.

United broke and Arca defended superbly. This allowed the Argentinean to break and launch a shot. Two minutes later another Boro break allowed Viduka to shoot, the shot deflecting off Heinze for a corner.

From the corner, Boro farted about in the box until the ball broke to Arca some thirty yards out. Checking to the left, he launched a shot that United defended as Boro's pressure went begging.

On eighty-eight the moment all true Boro fans had been waiting for - the introduction of Dong Gook Lee. He replaced the excellent Viduka whilst George Boateng was replaced by Jason Euell. Could Lee dog the opposition and possibly bag the winner?

Little happened in the dying embers of the game - suffice to say the embers were dying and not particularly glowing. Woodgate outfoxed Giggs not once but twice in the space of ten seconds whilst Arca's run presented Lee with an opportunity that trickled harmlessly wide.

And that was that. Another replay beckoned for Middlesbrough as they refused to do it the easy way. It was a fair result but one that frustrates both sides. It will be on Monday 19 March.

A GUARANTEED PROFIT ON THE FA CUP QUARTER-FINALS

The fourth FA Cup quarter-final kicks off at 6.00pm UK Time on Sunday and we can guarantee you a profit on the match, whatever the result.

We must point out that if you want to take this bet, you should do it now - don't delay! - because we expect the odds to change before kick-off which means the figures here will be invalidated. If they have changed, let us know and we will rework the bet for you.

You won't be able to do this if you already have accounts with one or more of the bookies we are using for this bet but if that is the case, mail us and let us know which accounts you have and we'll send you an alternative bet.

We're going to lay out a total of £118.75 on the Plymouth v Watford match and we will collect £149.69 plus £50.00 in free bets if the game is drawn. We will collect £145.00 plus £50.00 in free bets if Watford win and if Plymouth win we will collect £118.75 plus £50.00 in free bets.

Here's how it's done. Just follow these simple instructions.

1. Open accounts with Extrabet and Unibet and Victor Chandler. This shouldn't take you any longer than ten minutes.

2. Make the following deposits into your new accounts. Deposit £28.75 into your new Extrabet account. Deposit £40.00 into your new Unibet account. Deposit £50.00 into your new Victor Chandler account.

3. Now make the following bets.

Place £28.75 on the draw at 3.25 (9/4) with Extrabet.

Extrabet automatically match your first bet, up to £25.00, on the same selection. You now have £53.75 staked on the draw.

Place £40.00 on Watford to win at 2.75 (7/4) with Unibet

Unibet pay a bonus on your first deposit, 100% matched up to £20.00 so when you make your £40.00 deposit, you will automatically receive another £20.00 in your account. Place the £20.00 bonus on Watford as well. You now have £60.00 staked on Watford.

Place £50.00 on Plymouth to win at 11/8 with Victor Chandler.

You have temporarily laid out a total of £118.75. I stress, temporarily... Now sit back, crack a beer open and enjoy the match.

4. Here's what happens at the end of the game.

If it's a draw, you will collect £149.69 from Extrabet. The breakdown of the £149.69 is as follows:

£64.69 winnings plus £56.25 from the free matched bet plus your £28.75 stake back which equals £149.69.

If Watford win, you will collect £145.00 from Unibet. The breakdown of the £145.00 is as follows:

£70.00 winnings plus £35.00 winnings from the bet you placed with your deposit bonus plus your £40.00 stake back which equals £145.00.

If Plymouth win you will collect £118.75 from Victor Chandler.

Victor Chandler will then credit your new account with £50.00 in free bets, whatever the result of the match.

5. This means that the worst case scenario on the Plymouth v Watford match is Plymouth win and you get all your money back and gain £50.00 in free bets. But if Plymouth don't win, you will make either £30.94 or £26.25 profit plus £50.00 in free bets.

6. It is absolutely vital that you click on the links on this page to open the accounts with the three bookies or you may not qualify for the bonuses.

Also, before you place your bets, you should check that the odds haven't changed. If they have, let us know and we will rework the bet for you.

Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions at all about this bet and we will come straight back to you.

Please note that the free bets and bonuses are valid for new customers only so if you already have an account with one or more of the bookies we are using, you won't be able to do this. If that is the case, contact us and we'll mail you an alternative bet using different bookies.

This method of betting was used very successfully during the World Cup and you can read all about how it was done right here.

We guarantee this bet

It's understandable that some people will not believe that it is possible to do this. "What's the catch?" I hear you asking. My answer to that question is that we have been publishing arbitrage bets for three seasons now and literally hundreds of people have profited from following the advice on these pages.

Only once has our refund guarantee been triggered and that was when we did all the figures wrong and sent refunds out to those who had followed our advice and made a small loss.

Our refund guarantee works like this. If this bet doesn't work like we say it will and you end up out of pocket, we will refund your losses. Simple as that.

That means that you simply cannot lose on this, whatever happens and even if we messed up the numbers.

The only stipulation here is that you must click on the links on this page to be eligible for the refund guarantee, not that you'll be needing to claim anyway. Just enjoy the profit and stay posted for many more of these throughout the season.

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