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Bigot Mourinho lacks sense of proportion


Ash

By Davvy Blunkett
July 19 2005

Am I the only one who can see that the media, and Mourinho, have no sense of proportion over this case? Is the issue really "slave labour", restraint of trade, low wages, French dominance and so on. Is it a matter of blaming the Arsenal for Ashleyís misfortune.

No these issues are out of of all proportion in relation  to the real issue.

So what is the real issue? Its discrimination against the vertically challenged. Mourinho has been caught out as a bigot of the highest order, and a shortsighted idiot to boot (and before the anti-myopia discrimination league write in that is a metaphor).

"Chelsea boss Mourinho stunned the three-man tap-up commission by claiming that he would only sign a left-back who was at least 5ft 11 tall. Arsenal defender Cole is only 5ft 7in."

Mind you, you must query the Special Ones eyesight Ė when did he first notice that Cole was not a six footer? Was he stunned when Ashley rose to greet him, and only came up to the breast pocket of his freshly dry cleaned overcoat? Or did they pop out to the fun fair and Ash was denied a trip on the helter skelter because his nose didnít reach the red line. Or was it Ashley paying half fare on the bus trip back to North London that gave the game away?

So the Special One wasted a Sunday afternoon because he is no judge of height. But having determined Ashís height, which is in the public realm he only had to check out Arsenal.com, Mourinho, like the man from the News of the World made his excuses and left. Not just left, but leaving Ashley high and dry. Now this is discrimination of the first order, after all Ash is a giant compared to Zola and he made a decent enough career. Is it not enough that short people have a lower life expectancy and less prospects in general without this added indignity?

Ashley you are lashing out at the wrong targets, its not restraint of trade that stymied your career, itís the restraint of height. Just think if you were only 4 inches taller you would be earning all that Russian Oil money, and gambolling around Chelsea Village (I hear there is a vacancy for an idiot) with those lovely English boys who hate garlic.

Yes there should be a crusade, there is a cause, and it is a just one. Itís the need for a campaign against height restrictions. Lets put an end to hidden height shoes, and time on the rack trying to add those vital inches. Lets get our footballers off growth hormones, with the accompanying health risks. Say it out, Say it Loud, We are Short, and We are Proud. Thatís a campaign we could look up to (or down, according to height. Ed). We should hound Mourinho wherever he goes, and give him short shrift, its time to stand tall Ashley. Wrighty would not tolerate racism, why should you tolerate "shortism".

Not only is there a world to win, but once the glass ceiling is lowered all that lovely dosh can be yours, and who would dare to say you didnít deserve it? Certainly not anyone 5ft 7in or under.

Yes its time for a sense of proportion.

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