Usually celebs arrive at these openings in a stretched limo, but Ros turns up in an ambulance. St Albans! Hardly the Oxford Street of Hertfordshire, more the charity shop and clearance outlet capital of the Home Counties. However let's not scoff, St Albans today, Asia tomorrow.

 

Meanwhile a major photo essay shows Arsenal fans flocking in to the Armoury to  buy the new shirt, the one without white sleeves, but a go faster strip around the outside of the torso. Most of the shirts are shown modelled on dummies, just as I was convinced they couldn't get any real fans to wear them, three slap heads, who seem not to be dummies, appear modelling them. Perhaps there was a buy one get two free special offer for slap heads. They should try that for beer bellies, they will get rid of thousands.

If that's not exciting enough you can lean that Freddy is the 11^th all time greatest Arsenal player. I don't have a lot of trouble with that - but is he really better than Alex James? Anyhow the top 50 player list is a great source of amusement. Who are these people who voted for Cashley? Did Chelsea fans really join the Arsenal website just so they can vote for him? I wish I had voted for Gallas now.

Other breathtaking news includes the fact that the reserves have arranged a game with the team that represents the drug abuse capital of Europe. Yes you got it - Crawley Town.

In case you can't get enough news on Gael Clichy there are 7 articles in 24 hours. Articles range from Clichy hardest man since Peter Storey, Clichy surprises Duke with visit to Palace, and the amazing "What did you say about Clichy" for people with bad memories.

But just when you think these people must live in a fantasy land hard reality intrudes. Suddenly I espy news of an exodus of key players to Chelsea. My heart skips several beats, this isn't the Sun - it's got to be true. Oh no, more traitors like Ashley chasing the Petro Rouble. Who can it be? Anita Asante and Lianne Sanderson, the bastards they can't even let us enjoy having the greatest ladies team in the World. I suppose it should upset me, but even bad news on the wonderful world of Arsenal.com is not that bad.

Remember when Henry left? Almost up to the end Arsenal.com reassured us that he was going to stay. It's not that they deliberately want to mislead, it is just for our own good. Bad news would only upset us all.

For those who can't exist without transfer news excitement there is Arsenal.com's alter ego the, "Caught with your tribal pants down.com." Here everything is hot news, every day hundreds of players worth hundreds of millions apply to join the Gunners. Coffin dodgers, ball dodgers, all queue up to join Arsenal. The stories are even more fantasy world than the genteel world of Arsenal.com.

Has the Guardian joined them? According to them Santa Cruz has been lined up by Wenger to replace Ade who will go for £30 million? Wenger conned Real for£24 million for Anelka, will he do it again with Ade? More fantasy?  We will have to wait and see.

But for a truly wonderful world try Arsenal TV - it's brilliant, we are yet to draw or lose a first team game on that platform.

  

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