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Things that get on my bloody nerves; Slavery

By Dave Eadevic
April 1 2007

I think I will start this with an apology, although hang about I wont as I have fuck all to apologize for. I have never owned slaves, and unless you count minimum wage as slavery I am never likely too. And that is my point, please don't pick me up wrong, slavery was wrong, very wrong, and all the people involved should hang their heads in shame, only they cant on the grounds of being suddenly taken dead.

It was 200 years ago, and still certain people are expecting compensation. Well why?

And does this mean I can put in a claim against the Vikings for pillaging my ancestors, I have had sleepless nights, well OK I haven't, but I have suffered exactly the same amount of trauma as the slaves decedents.

Every time I turn on the BBC at the moment I am told to feel sorry for what my ancestors did.

Well sorry then

I am sorry they didn't kill more people, I am sorry they did not pillage as much as they should of, but basically I am sorry they were not the biggest shits on the planet, because if they had of been I would have been born royalty, and I wouldn't have to type for a living.

Yes you could have been lining the streets,m crying in morning for little old me, Elton John may have written a song, it seemed to me he lived his life like a pissed geordie in the wind, well OK perhaps not.

But the be all and end all is my ancestors were too lazy to get of their arses and kill lots of people, so I wasn't born Royal.

Yours were captured so you got the chance to grow up in the west and avoided Bob Geldof, shit happens, get over it.

If you drop this silly compensation claim, I promise not to sue Sweden for the Vikings, mind I might for Ikea, but that is an entirely different subject.

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