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Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
By Barky Satfastard
January 3 2010
An FA Cup banana skin was always a possibility today as the in-form League One leaders, Leeds United travelled across the Pennines to face an irrelevant team of has-beens and journeymen from the Greater Liverpool area. Happily for Leeds, a Jermaine Beckford goal spared them the embarrassment of another “Histon” and booked a fourth round trip to Tottenham Hotspurs.

As expected, Leeds dominated from the start and the only real surprise was that it took a full 19 minutes to get the goal that their vastly superior play deserved. A beautiful long ball from Howson completely foxed the criminally unintelligent Wes Brown and Beckford took it in his stride and fooled defenders and commentators alike as he appeared to push it too far wide; before deftly cutting the ball into the bottom right hand corner of the goal. Lucciano Becchio could have made it 2-0 moments later, but placed a header marginally over the bar – though in fairness to Becchio, this was probably out of politeness to the hosts, who were, after all, facing one of the biggest matches in their history.

 

Leeds then took their foot off the gas and allowed the home team a bit of possession over the remainder of the first half and almost conceded a shock equaliser as a Wayne Rooney effort was cleared off the line by Jason Crowe.

 

At half-time you could forgive Simon Grayson for instructing his team to keep the game at a low tempo for the second half, particularly as we have such a big match coming up next weekend against Wycombe Wanderers -  though this laid-back approach would threaten to prove costly once or twice as the second half wore on.

 

There were indeed two – maybe three – incidents when our goalkeeper, Caspar Ankergren, actually had to touch the ball and the home crowd were even starting to sense that the minnows might be able to stage a come-back – the ridiculous fools. Leeds, meanwhile, attempted to reassert their dominance with the two best chances of the second period: a Jermaine Beckford effort that went narrowly wide and a Robert Snodgrass free kick that cannoned off the crossbar.

The game mimbled out to a finish and a rather lack-lustre Leeds eventually trudged home to their expected 1-0 victory - though it was evident throughout the tie that the Leeds players had their minds firmly on next week's big match against Wycombe. Full credit to the underdogs though - they battled hard and tried their best to take advantage of the fact that Leeds were below par. They did their best and have no reason to be ashamed of the fact that they were played off the park in every single department, by a team that barely got out of first gear, by its usual standards. As a final footnote, their manager, Sir Alex Flatulence, expressed his disappointment that there had only been 5 minutes and 48 seconds of added time at the end of the second half. I'm sure I'm not the only person who really hopes he catches his k-nob in his flies.


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3 Jan, 2010 23:11 Report
Unofficial Leeds United (IP Logged)
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Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
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4 Jan, 2010 00:10 Report
ianlufc (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
(Sm22)haha that is top cnutage mate...especially as it is now on the front page of sportnetwork website

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4 Jan, 2010 00:13 Report
bats (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
love it (Sm22)

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4 Jan, 2010 00:32 Report
Daffs (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
(Sm22) Quality cnutage of the highest order.



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4 Jan, 2010 01:11 Report
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Top posting, big man

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4 Jan, 2010 07:21 Report
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Great report, love the irony(Sm163)



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4 Jan, 2010 08:22 Report
Yeboahs Left Peg. (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
fantastic

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4 Jan, 2010 17:29 Report
Batfastard (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Dunno what you mean lads (Sm55) Just a simple, unbiased report, nothing more (Sm163)



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4 Jan, 2010 17:41 Report
slup (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Just as I would would have reported if asked.!!

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15 Jan, 2010 17:39 Report
Lufc_Meg (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Love it



Marching On Together..!

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15 Jan, 2010 17:48 Report
Dr. Vic Melonhead MD (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
that is brilliant... it is posted on the ManU board right?



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16 Jan, 2010 10:56 Report
blind pilots (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Even though you are now a Mary,inside that gargantuan frame of yours the Cnut in you just wants to break free...(Sm6)


Top cnutage judas....

Great reading


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8 Dec, 2010 00:20 Report
Billy (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Just had a read of this unbiased piece of top journalism(Sm22)



...poor Southampton just don`t know what day it is ...to say LEEDS are playing with Southampton is the understatement of the season, ...every man jack is turning it on...it`s almost cruel.



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8 Dec, 2010 02:17 Report
kiwipete (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
brilliant big man-even proper use of the queens english for once-(Sm22)



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8 Dec, 2010 02:23 Report
Marsh_Spain (IP Logged)
bit of a cnut
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
they were lucky to get away with a 0-1
cheeky feckin upstarts.

good work big man thumbs down

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8 Dec, 2010 07:56 Report
Batfastard (IP Logged)
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Lol Don't know why this one's been brought up again (Sm6)

Hopefully can write another one after the Arsenal match grinning smiley



Batfastard of Wakefield - the REAL Burger King


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Messageboard Honours

Third Place 2010 Eurovision Song Contest Sweepstake.
Winner of World Cup 2010 Sweepstake.
Winner of some poxy quiz run by Bairdy a few days later.
Fu-cking last in the 2011 Eurovision sweepstake. Tuneless Swiss bi-tch.
Promoted in CBC Poxy League One play-off final v Lord Snoddy
Winner of the 2010-11 Best Mary award
Runner-up in various other categories including 'grumpiest ba-stard'
Proud winner of the coveted 2010-11 'Mary who most pi-ssed Vic off' award
Winner of the 2011 Rugby World Cup Sweepstake

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8 Dec, 2010 08:22 Report
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
Great stuff - made my early morning start much easier.

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8 Dec, 2010 08:36 Report
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Re: Manchester United 0-1 Leeds United
was not aware one could start a sentence with lol-(Sm154)



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