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Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race


Vection in action

By Boris Mellor
May 22 2011

Yes I know fourth is spelt wrong, it’s an attempt to pun Black Adder, doesn’t work as well as Slack Bladder which is what I call the bloke in my row at the Emirates who goes to the toilet every twenty minutes. Besides it was meant to read "Sad Slackers Go Forth", but the web software doesn't allow enough space for it.  Well survival Sunday was pretty exciting, and what was the significance of it? Answer we lost in the Carling Cup Final to a Championship team.

How can Arsene believe he has moved forward this season?

 Surely the fact that team has 7 less points than last season, conceded two more goals, and scored eleven less means his team has gone backward? His team has dropped one place to 4th, and his much vaunted new improved defence is equal to Fulham’s at 43 conceded a piece. If Wenger has overachieved on his budget how much has Fulham exceeded expectations on theirs?

 

How is it that Wenger can have the delusion of claiming this is his strongest squad ever? I think it’s important we understand more and condemn less, there is no point in abusing him for something that is not his fault. It is clear that Wenger is suffering from a severe bout of Vection syndrome. Indeed Vection syndrome is not that rare we have all suffered it at some time or other.

 Arsene suffering Vection syndrome?

 What is Vection syndrome you ask?

 Answer: When a large part of the visual field moves, a viewer feels they have moved and that the world is stationary.[1] For example, when one is in a train at a station, and another neighbouring train moves, one can have the illusion that one's own train has moved in the opposite direction (Wikipedia).

Of course someone observing from the platform can quite clearly see that the train has not moved at all, but try to convince the person sitting in the stationary train of that. This explains why Wenger refuses to accept any criticism.

Wenger, sitting inside the train (i.e. managing the team) is convinced there is forward motion. Meanwhile the fans on the platform (i.e. watching from the stadium) can see there is no movement. Now a benevolent and wise employer would realise what is happening and send their employee to a Vection Therapist.

So to help the process I would argue that booing is not going to help to improve anything; instead we should chant,”Going Forward You’re Having a Laugh – Vection Therapy Now”.

Oh I forgot there was a match, it ended Fulham 2 Arsenal 2.

Always look on bright side

But let’s not depress ourselves about the present; our season was over months ago. Instead why not take comfort in the past, and there is nothing like a trip to Craven Cottage to feel back in the past. There’s also a chance to sing sit down you pedophile at whacko Jacko’s statue.

Meanwhile a team of Arsenal Legends managed by the legendary captain of the 71 double team will play Spurs for a tilt at the London  Legends cup. You might even realise that there was a club before Wenger’s arrival. This wonderful experience could be yours for free:

Two pairs of tickets to be won to see Arsenal Legends

 Arsenal Times has two pairs of tickets to be won for the “The London Legends Cup at Craven Cottage on Sunday May 29th

 Yes Arsenal Times is giving away two pairs of tickets for this 40 minutes a tie tournament. A chance to see veteran Arsenal star Kenny Samson. Zola will be turning out for Chelsea, and there will be a chance to boo Stan Collymore playing for Fulham.

 So to be one of the two lucky winners you just have to answer this easy question. Which Arsenal Legend will be managing the Arsenal Legends side on the 29th.

 Do not put your answer on this forum you will be disqualified please email to Arsenaltimes@blueyonder.co.uk

Entries close at 5pm Monday 23rd May. Winners will need to collect tickets before the game at Craven Cottage.

 If you are not a lucky winner tickets are on sale from £10 each at the website or phone number below:

 

 

*Tickets for Football 40 London Legends Cup at Craven Cottage on Sunday May 29th are obtainable from the Craven Cottage ticket office or

www.football40.com

The London Legends Cup in aid of Help a Capital Child on 29th May at Craven Cottage. 11 a-side Legends Tournament featuring three 40 minute matches, Live on ITV
CHELSEA v FULHAM, ARSENAL V SPURS & THE FINAL

For tickets www.fulhamfc.com/tickets, www.football40.com or call 0843 208 1234.

Hospitality enquiries 0845 888 8884

Follow London Legends Cup on  Twitter - Legends Cup - https://twitter.com/#!/LegendsCup
Follow on Facebook - London Legends - http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/londonlegends

 

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Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Arsenal Times (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 19:13
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Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 2011:05:27:22:37:25 by Padre Pio.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
celine dion (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 21:11
you forgot to mention that I won the prediction league.

Did I mention that I won the prediction league?

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Padre Pio (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 21:15
I didnt know when I was writing this, but there are two threads on your victory



- until Wenger moves on, they'll always be the also-rans in the major competitions. A club in elite purgatory. Always good enough to make it to the big race, never fast or smart enough to push over the finish line in first place. That's all about the manager. Until he changes, Arsenal fans will continue to celebrate glorious failure.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
celine dion (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 21:16
i know, I'm just making sure it appears on every thread even loosely related to my glorious victory.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
eduardo (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 21:52
make sure celine you tell the wife she might be more understanding about your need to spend that little extra on the season ticket

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
celine dion (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 21:58
ive already told her. She wondered why I was leaping round the sitting room at the end of the Birmingham v Spurs game. When I explained that I very probably had won an internet prediction league she looked at me like I was a piece of sh*t that she had just found on the sole of her shoe.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Padre Pio (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 22:17
so no opinions on the need for vection treatment?



- until Wenger moves on, they'll always be the also-rans in the major competitions. A club in elite purgatory. Always good enough to make it to the big race, never fast or smart enough to push over the finish line in first place. That's all about the manager. Until he changes, Arsenal fans will continue to celebrate glorious failure.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
celine dion (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 22:21
it was a very good article PP. All your articles are, in actual fact.

my suggestion for treating Wenger is much simpler however. I would hold his head in a bath of ice cold water until he promised to buy some players.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Padre Pio (IP Logged)
22/05/2011 23:04
Thanks, but wasnt looking for praise, just opinions.



- until Wenger moves on, they'll always be the also-rans in the major competitions. A club in elite purgatory. Always good enough to make it to the big race, never fast or smart enough to push over the finish line in first place. That's all about the manager. Until he changes, Arsenal fans will continue to celebrate glorious failure.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Merlion96 (IP Logged)
23/05/2011 00:35
Yeah, I was branded a Wenger hater for calling him a hypocritical snake-oil salesman season-long and counting....@#$%

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
celine dion (IP Logged)
23/05/2011 07:37
Well, what's strange is that in actual fact a lot of people including myself to a certain extent would say that the team has got better. It's an illusion, obviously, stats don't lie. But if you look at all the individual elemnents like koscielny, djourou, nasri, rvp, the keepers, sagna, they've all had decent seasons and been better than last year. Plus the emergence of wilshere. Plus we beat some 'big teams' as well. That's the board likes wenger so much. To the undiscerning customer (and the blind followers among us) he's pretty good at giving the illusion of progress without actually making any.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Padre Pio (IP Logged)
23/05/2011 08:31
i didnt realise it was catching



- until Wenger moves on, they'll always be the also-rans in the major competitions. A club in elite purgatory. Always good enough to make it to the big race, never fast or smart enough to push over the finish line in first place. That's all about the manager. Until he changes, Arsenal fans will continue to celebrate glorious failure.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
essex gooner (IP Logged)
23/05/2011 12:08
Aw needs to get rid of the contact lenses and get his glasses back on then look at the programme and see we are the ones playing in red and white, cause his ever increasing delusional post match comments make me believe he is watching the wrong team.
Vection therapy would be a good idea, saw AW in deep conversation with the physio throughout yesterdays match maybe this is the start of the treatment?

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
celine dion (IP Logged)
23/05/2011 18:00
when you think about it, its more genius from the club and its psychological manipulation of the fans. In engineering the departure of players who were actually doing a pretty good job, ie Hleb Adebayor Flamini Gallas even Cashley Cole really, and always making sure it was widely understood that they were money hungry sh*gsacks and that the club needs to nobly carry on without them, it further adds to the comfort zone of Wenger. Thats why its hard to be nasty to dear old Koscielny, or Djourou, or poor old Alex Song, or Chamakh, or whatever. In keeping this steady churn of players who are just 'finding their feet' its harder, or supposedly harder, to be nasty about them. When in fact we should have just paid the old players what they were worth in the first place. Which is what other clubs do.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Padre Pio (IP Logged)
23/05/2011 20:12
i dont think Gallas even wanted more money, he wanted two years



- until Wenger moves on, they'll always be the also-rans in the major competitions. A club in elite purgatory. Always good enough to make it to the big race, never fast or smart enough to push over the finish line in first place. That's all about the manager. Until he changes, Arsenal fans will continue to celebrate glorious failure.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Bergmars (IP Logged)
23/05/2011 20:36
I cannot bring myself to watch his interviews any longer,he talks in soundbites,Im slowly starting to subscribe to the theory that Wenger actually hinders the players progress nowadays.



DB10,the best.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
AJ The Gunner (IP Logged)
24/05/2011 14:30
finally decided to log on to read, watch & listen to all arsenal news.. i have been on strike from arsenal..my own silent protest..

the biggest irritation is the fact that arsenal lost the carling cup final to a team that got relegated... GREAT!!! this team showed a mass degeneration from last season.. i am so disgusted that i will return to my silent protest..what is there to discuss that we have not talked about??? it has become almost ridiculous when we all point out the same thing over & over again..

May the heavens help us cos i fear wenger has not over come his obsession..he will play us like a fiddle until the season starts & we are back to status quo



http://i400.photobucket.com/albums/pp87/ajplatinum/2017-09-26_12.35.41.jpg

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Bergmars (IP Logged)
25/05/2011 10:04
I fear you may be correct AJ,more smoke and mirrors from the conjuror.



DB10,the best.

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
salisbury69 (IP Logged)
25/05/2011 20:06
We finished fourth and TWELVE points behind the winners. And that is progress??

 
Re: Vection Treatment for Arsene as he is Forth in 2 Horse Race
Padre Pio (IP Logged)
25/05/2011 22:25
Its progress if you suffer Vection syndrome



- until Wenger moves on, they'll always be the also-rans in the major competitions. A club in elite purgatory. Always good enough to make it to the big race, never fast or smart enough to push over the finish line in first place. That's all about the manager. Until he changes, Arsenal fans will continue to celebrate glorious failure.

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